Month: December 2019

Next step

My introverted self only takes relationships to a superficial level. In order to achieve my objective I need to develop more interpersonal skills. I had a great lunch really connected. But on a personal level that is all I usually do. I don’t have close friends I talk with regularly or build close relationships. I am good at going to the lunch, small talk, making plans but not following through. Hence why I am not consistent and I don’t sustain growth

Ego

The ego will roar to be fed. Achieving the objective seldom happens on the first effort. Failure leads to assessment of what went wrong. We don’t know what went wrong so we take the “facts” of what happened and determine an alternate course. Maybe the first two or three times we remain confident.

Then it happens again and again. The objective isn’t achieved. We start to doubt ability.

We can give up and not try but it is still new so we don’t do that. But we look for patterns. We see shortcomings and others don’t fix. Blame them. Blame situation. And since they have been identified we are hyper aware of them. We see failure, we see the perceived reason. We associate them.

The situation runs out, we give up or we are removed.

I worked sales on business consulting. Completed training, did ride along, practiced my pitch. I was raring to go. They sent me five leads. I failed. They sent me five more. Nothing. Four. Four. Five. It my last one had a good talk. Got farther than I ever had. I felt I was figuring it out.

Come Monday I didn’t get any leads. They said sorry. Next day sent me two. I didn’t make a sale. No leads. No leads. Complained. 2 leads. Nothing. Next Monday nothing. Tuesday nothing. Wednesday I get an email I won’t get any more leads. I didn’t produce.

I had a week where they really fed me.

Then just a couple more. Why waste the leads?

So you know what I did? I started cold calling to make my own leads.

Specific Objective

Think back to when you were in high school. What was the objective? The purpose of going to high school was to learn, pass all the requirements and get a diploma. The objective was graduation.
But how we got there was subjective. Some took photography classes, others played sports. Some were in Advanced classes while others were in remedial. Some worked hard to achieve all A’s while others wanted good grades but were happy with some B’s and perhaps a C or two.
The fact is we got to subjectively choose our path to the objective. However as we get older the path narrows. Say your objective was to get into a prestigious school. Then you had to be much more diligent on your grades, your activities. The objective became more specific so the behavior had to change.
Most of use subjectively feel our way through life forging our own path and that path leads us to where we are. We are on an adventure to see where life takes us. But then we want to achieve more but we only know the path we took. To achieve a new objective we must forge a new path. and to forge a new path we must focus on the objective and block out all the noise that seduces us to go down the familiar path and receive familiar results.

Extrovert

Being an extrovert does not mean happier. Yes when we think about being social at specific times I want to be outgoing.

When my daughter had fundraisers for her school they did it at a resort in Orange County. Most times I did not care what car I drove but pulling up in my old truck to the valet stand made me self conscious. But it was a specific time.

Most of my best friends are outgoing, charismatic, extroverts. But I know their struggle and heart to heart talks. They are not quantify happier. They live life a certain way and at times their personality and skill shine. I can say the same for me just at different times and places.

Objectives

$200,000

Utah regularly

Regular wins

Luxury late model car

Own three/four bedroom ocean view

$85,000

Utah

Late model Sentra

Rent two bedroom

The regular wins is the newcomer to the list. It used to be job satisfaction.

Free time to daydream, read, watch videos. Eat, drink coffee, beer. Write.

I am daydreaming, writing and eating right now 😊

The daydreaming, finding moments of peace and zen is my baseline. I naturally find them. I like them. They were my most cherished moments 10-15 years ago. I still like them but I am close to 48 years old. My career is winding down. I want to be good at something. Be proud of my work, be recognized and rewarded.

And sales suck.

I am not disappointed with the car. The house actually was an upgrade from when I started. I would like to make more money just to cover expenses. Utah could be more often but not terrible.

A stolen moment not working hard used to be a treat because I was getting paid the same as if I was busting my hump. But when I am objective focused I am stealing from myself.