We started getting hotel rooms spending days together. Making love, drinking talking. We were together at work, we texted and talked when we weren’t together. She consumed my every thought. She was my best friend. No matter what she was doing or where she was I wanted to be with her.
She left her job four years after starting. The day she packed up her cubicle left me with such heaving grief I never recovered. My life shattered and diminished. I am crying tears remembering it.
At first when she said she was leaving, that we would no longer work together, I actually felt relief. Our relationship was intense. I thought taking a step back would release exhaustion. Instead it destroyed my heart.
I cursed myself for wanting a break for wanting things to be easier. As if my indifference alone caused her to leave. I grieved. I continue to grieve so many years later.
We never stopped seeing each other or loving each other but the moment had receded. Our meetings and our talk were in memory of what we once were.
Why didn’t I marry her? Why did I stay in a marriage I wasn’t fulfilled in? We never truly contemplated leaving our spouses but we could not be apart. So we made a decision to just keep seeing each other on the side. The happiest most pure true part of myself hidden
mikemeyer949 