The only time this seems interesting is when I talk about sex.
When I think about sex, what I think about, fantasize about it what I have done/ might do I use words like embarrassment, shame, guilt. Why is that? Why do I have negative feelings.
It seems like there is an ideal I strive to be but am not. So when I inevitably fail to be a caricature of a loyal monogamous husband I flog my history.
The fact is the facade blew up years ago. I consider my wife just a friend.
I believe she uses our daughter as a way to keep me in line. She knows I am not faithful to her but I will choose my daughter because I am a dad first. So if I am spending every weekend with her I can’t be with another woman.
mikemeyer949 