“Sometimes its better to lie, than to say all the things I got on my mind…”
-Benny Blanco
There is an undercurrent of another life just below the surface. The reasons are complex. The simple answers are guilt, keeping the peace, embarrassment, shame. Fear of failure.
Eventually the feeling the real person is trapped inside. The outward shell becomes revolting and is rejected.
With the WIL the secret was empowering. As time passed it became frustrating. Now I don’t want to talk with her unless everyone knows I love her and would be her husband if she needed/wanted
Writing these posts. I keep them hidden. I am baring details about me I haven’t revealed to many people.
Growing up I found empowerment dreaming of being a professional musician, a rock star. But no one, even my closest friends would have known all through college and seminary I believed fervently I was going to achieve that goal. They would have told you that dream died when I left Wyoming at age 18 to go to college.
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