When I was younger I concentrated on the largest questions of my existence. What will I do for a living? Who will I love? Where will I live? How many children will I have? There was so much to see, places to go, people to meet, experiences to have. My mind could not contain all the curiosity.
By my mid thirties many of those questions had been answered. Many of the discoveries had been made. For the first time I recognized just beyond the surface a dark void of nothingness. It terrified me. Time was running out. I blamed my circumstances. I thought I got lazy. That I had trapped myself in a place and job.
I moved. I changed careers. I chased things that seemed important. Money, titles, possessions. But the void only grew. I became tired. Now I live with the void constantly. I barely distract myself with entertainment and vices. I am almost 49. I am learning to live with the void for the rest of my life
mikemeyer949 