I look back on my life and wonder what I thought I was doing.

When I was 15.., that feels too honest. It doesn’t seem interesting or relevant. So now I am considering you, the reader in what honesty you can tolerate. What if I am honest but it is off putting or boring. I will lose my relationship with you before it begins and frankly I need you right now. I need to feel connected to you. That you are entertained, invested and informed by this effort.

So now I am juggling. Honesty must balance being useful to you, without too much hurting other people without sheltering my ego.

My first “real” job was working as a “religious consultant” for the state of wyoming. That was truly my job title. It was January 1999. One month before my 27th birthday.

I had graduated from seminary after completing my internship in august. I moved back to my hometown and was a chaplain extern at the wyoming state hospital. After four months I was hired full time.

I conducted the Protestant religious service at the chapel and provided bible study on the unit where patients were locked down.

Monday through Thursday I completed psychosocial background assessments for the psychiatrist and psychologist to complete reports on defendants accused of a crime. Invariably a public defender would ask a new client if they had ever been diagnosed, treated or evaluated for a mental illness. If the answer was yes they would ship them to the state hospital in the very southwest corner. The evaluation was designated for thirty days. In reality with transportation limitations it was 60 and sometimes even longer.