I am in a good place. Don’t panic or take the first job offered or fall in love with one position.

I feel working for Amedisys was good but taking a step back in position was detrimental. I am not going to take a job and be underemployed again.

Life gives me waves 🌊 there are unique circumstances circumstances that constantly come up and I must navigate them. They might be short, lasting a moment. Or a day, week months, years. They are waves and I must ride them with the skill and understanding I possess

If you kill all your sacred cows eventually you just have an empty field. I can’t “solve” life and find the one perfect perpetual wave. I am basically the same person I was when I was 15 and just navigating the waves I have experienced so far

Update: I never heard back about the VP job. A good recruiter and an interested hiring manager would have set the appointment yesterday afternoon. There are other options. I am not sure I wrote that I was contacts for an executive job in Phoenix but I missed the email. I wrote back but it might be too late. The company I applied for in Las Vegas looks at my resume. We’ll see if there is interest. I have been having a pretty good hit rate in application responses so far. Now just get a good one and close it

Conversation with the recruiter went well. Hiring vp checked my profile on LinkedIn. Did a predictive index assessment. Waiting to hear if interview will happen

Right after I wrote that last post I was contacted regarding a vp role with a national company. It is right in my wheelhouse and skill set.

When you are job searching you only need to get one. It is a numbers game. Only one has to like you, not everyone

I am tempted to dismiss my ego as something that took me away from my calling. When I didn’t worry about money, titles or possessions I simply served as a spiritual counselor and that was enough. I doubt that is fully true

I have a pain in my ribs on the right side that I have had for years. It always seems like my organs are swollen. I believe it is where my pancreas and gall bladder are. It has always been present but is more pronounced. I feel like I have digestion issues and blood sugar issues because of it. It is more an issue than a problem. No one lives forever and something has to take us. No guarantees

Last night as I lay in bed I imagined a scenario where an earthquake rendered my house uninhabitable. If I had to leave immediately were would I go?

I would take my mom back to wyoming and then I would go down to utah, get a utah phone number and a private mailbox with a physical address and look for work.

I would look on south salt lake county and utah county because there is less emotion attached.

I would look for work in the broader healthcare operations or sales. The words that kept repeated it when thinking about it were “spiritual” “leader” and “owner.”

The tension eased in my rib and my soul opened up

I have to face the fact the most likely scenario is getting a sales job in Orange County and downsizing my lifestyle. Even then it is going to be tight. But getting a job somewhere else and having the ability to keep it are pretty slim. I feel like a mush brain. Like I am incapable of deep organized thought. Just like the physical limitations of getting older I have to accept the mental limitations

Even if I get a job here I would still have to sell my truck to raise funds and move to a cheaper living situation

I am broke, in debt and jobless. I have very few prospects to get a job that covers my expenses as they are now. I could go anywhere and do anything. I just need illumination

I feel the darkness around me. Not connected to anyone. It is weird. I have friends, I could reach out to them. At least chat. Why am I inclined to mope and be depressed? I build a cell then moan o am in prison