Betrayed

I feel betrayed. Nine years somewhere should have meant leaving id a rash, ineffective decision. Instead I am trying desperately to salvage my sanity and finances before I plunge both into the abyss. If I had stayed in utah these last ten years I would probably own my house outright. And would have seen it double in value. When we moved to California we were only going to rent a short time. Save money, sell our home in utah, get into something small, build equity, size up. Instead my jobs became unstable. We sold our utah house right before the market took off. We didn’t get into ownership in California. Jobs never became stable. Still, I fought to stay in California. I weathered tumult. Nine fucking job changes. I kept thinking “stick it out. It will settle down. It will get better. Dint give up. Stay the course.” All I got was nothing. The gift to me is mental illness, loneliness and financial ruin.