Won $182.53 on the night. not bad. Off sets some of the cost of the trip. And I had fun.
Feeling lonely tonight. Not sure how to change that.
Lacking confidence. Started to go down the old neuro pathway with work. On one level my sanity and financial health depend on succeeding at this job. On another level I see years of precedent failure. The new neuro pathway of ownership/leadership can address the concern. Can I achieve top level consistency day and day out? I am good at getting jobs. I only need to be in character for an hour. 50 hours week in/week out, different story.
Flip side. I want free time. But free time equals overthinking. Anxiety. I gear down i feel disappointed. I gear up I feel overwhelmed. What is healthy and productive? I can’t find fair value. For me or my employer.
Give me a magical lamp. I could not tell you three wishes that would make me happy.
mikemeyer949 