Spent most of the day since 7am on the move. The energy that usually is spent overthinking and cycling was placed on communications with landlords, utilities and services. I spoke with my new supervisor briefly. Now I am at the car wash getting the truck ready for sale. Went to the gift store and bought valentines cards for wife, daughter and mom. I am not used to busy productive days. Interesting that anxiety is still present but just put on different things.
I wonder if I will ever feel joy again. So many things I used to get energy from I gloss over. Like being productive, meeting challenges. Now I just numbly stumble over them and cross them off my list. I wish I could slow down. Savor a simple day. Be proud of my accomplishments. Look forward to events. Friday nights used to feel so special. Now I dread the night no matter what day. I get anxiety around 2pm. I can’t think of anything to do. I usually eat too much or drink alcohol. If I drink I stay up a little later. If I don’t I go to bed around 6:30pm. I really need to get back to work so I have a better routine.
mikemeyer949 