Hospice is the industry I work in. I was a full time chaplain. After 6 and a half years I was ready for more responsibility. Hospice is not an industry with a lot of career advancement opportunities. My options were sales or operations. I wanted to grow as a person, make more money. But I did not have a passion for either discipline. Nor do I have the work ethic it takes to be successful.
I am in an objective mood. I can see where I innocently made choices with good intentions. I can see where those choices have crushed me in every way. The question is “how do I get out? How do I move forward?” You get no argument me. I suck at these jobs. I don’t want to do them. I can’t believe it is so hard. I guess it is like leaving Southern California. At some point it will be bad enough I don’t have a choice. Fuck. That is a shitty attitude. I am optimistic. I want to be pushed into a different path. I want to share these posts. The times I was most Alice was being a chaplain at a busy hospital in Salt Lake City. Dealing with life or death emergencies. It wasn’t easy. But I felt called and had the skills to help. The other time was being the hospice chaplain. Helping people deal with death. It wasn’t easy but I was called and had the skills. I need to believe the enemy is worth fighting. No amount of money or titles drives me like racing crisis, death and now mental illness. This is my new ministry.
mikemeyer949 