6:10am before taking dog for a walk
Minimally draining night. I realize I have to be extremely careful with my thoughts. I have to realize when I am going to dark places and choose not to try and figure it out.
I thought I’d the new operating system again. A fresh clean slate once I am in Arizona. At. One time I was like a monk. I need to go to monk like existence. Not too high not too low.
Leaving California this time is really post any life I fashioned. We are in unchartwred territory. I imagine my brother stopping dialysis. His emotional mental story ended with his physical death. My emotional mental story needs to end just as surely even though I am not physically dying. My mind is sick. Not my body.
mikemeyer949 