Process

I need to let the process play out. Focus for six weeks. Shed this energy, this place. Trust my daughter knows I love her and that I need to go away and get right in Phoenix for a couple months. Get my sanity and my work ethic back. be if value to something larger. It feels cruel and stupid that a part of me believes I was so intent on being a good father and finding a place for her to live I ended up being an unreliable father who couldn’t keep a job and now has to exile for a while to pull my shit together. Phoenix isn’t like Modesto. Modesto was formidable to get to. The drive to and from Phoenix is a straight shot. Modesto I had to drive through Los Angeles county then up the 99 through the Central Valley. It was a long dangerous and exhausting drive. Flying requires doubling back to Sacramento to catch a flight. Phoenix by car and plane is so much easier. I hope it isn’t long term. That I can establish a foundation for her to choose to live there. I need to go. Do what I need to do and trust it will all work out.