2:45am. Sitting on a bench in my new apartment in Arizona. When I moved to Southern California I needed a fresh start. After 9 years in utah I wanted to experience something different. In Southern California there was a feeling of being on permanent vacation. I know it sounds cliche but it was true. No one had more claim to legacy or roots than the next person. We weee all transient. enjoying the moment until we left and the next person took our place. I appreciated that energy because utah was the opposite. Utah had many people claiming being a more authentic resident because of time spent living there.
Nine years went by in a blink. I love Southern California but I am tapped out. After nine years in utah I owned a house, I had savings, pension, retirement, food healthcare benefits and no debt except for a couple years of truck payments. I feel after nine years Arizona will be the same. But nine years of Southern California? I could never own a house. I dealt with escalating rent. Blew all my savings, most of my retirement and am deep in unsecured debt. I had nine jobs and never felt secure except in one. I was the common denominator in all of them. I take responsibility. But I also know it was who I became living out there. That was not a great version of me. I had ring out all my positive energy from utah and needed to leave. The same has happened to Southern California. I am sure in time I will feel the need to leave Arizona. The life cycle of a relationship with place is interesting. You see it be born. Full of hope and wonder. You engage with the people, culture, lifestyle. You discover the things you enjoy. What brings you happiness. Pride. You also discover the thing that irritate. Frustrate. Over time the relationship begins to stale. The frustrating things pile up. You get anxious. There are no new discoveries to be had. You try to reinvent yourself and your approach to gain the spark again. But after a couple of attempts you realize the only way to feel alive is to be reborn somewhere els with a whole new perspective. I am in Arizona now. This is my new beginning. Southern California is the place that has lived and died. Joining utah.
mikemeyer949 