Epiphany

I had a small epiphany last night while I was dancing and singing in the mirror that I think is actually significant.

A little adjustment in my thinking led me to believe the time I really am on stage as it were is when I am working. At the job. As the leader. The energy I envision or desire singing in the mirror is the energy of working or doing a job. I just always want it to feel magical. But doing a job, performing in front of people is work. I have acted, performed musically and worked. There is always anxious anticipation before doing something. I am curious when it became so negative?

I remember getting ready for the state baseball tournament when I was young and being so excited I could sleep. I was a opus but in a good way. Flash forced to preaching and one of the reasons I stopped was because Saturday’s before preaching wer unbearable. I would be so worried, nervous that the layoff wasn’t with the stress. In high school when we played as a band I could wait to be on stage and sing. Now I am stressed before going to work on Monday. It is interesting how the energy is interpreted. The point is I am 49 now. There is no value in day dreaming or wishing for someday. My time to stand in front of people for real is now. Be that as a counselor, a writer, a leader.