Baseline

12:53am lying in bed. Didn’t make a post last night. Yesterday everything seemed to slow down. I could relax. Catch my breath and examine the past. I am searching for a baseline. A place where everything was solid before the foundation faltered. I cannot find it. historically things would be going well, there would be disruptive events followed by a return to normal. A lesson would be learned. And reflection on the experience would mark a time of personal growth. I keep digging back for bedrock but don’t see it. Was it before shelter in place? Before the WIL’s husband? Before the last job or the five after that? My body and mind are easing to a softer wavelength. I can rationalize and appreciate. There is no salvation in the past. Now the cleaver cuts off romance. Always forward