3:25am I have reached the plateau. At the moment I am vexed. My attitude has been positive. I have given maximum effort. I am engaged. I am present. I show up. I do the work. I have accomplished nothing. Revenue is lower than the day I arrived. The hole is getting deeper. I have enacted change. Certain staff have selected out. But with revenue down I can’t replace them. I can generate new business but with licensing survey coming up we are extra cautious. This week has been tiresome.
I dreamed about a giant solar field like the ones outside Las Vegas. In my dream the panels would not work unless they were connected. There was a large section of panels to the left. Another to the right. The middle was empty. I was talking to a group of people about closing the gap. I explained the energy that will be generated when the circuit is complete.
I am the captain. We are on the voyage. I make decisions. I see them through. I am strong. Decisive.
(Just for context…I am beating myself up. I feel like a failure. I fear getting fired. I am frustrated. I want to pout. Scream. Cry. Blame someone or some thing.)
mikemeyer949 