10:58pm there is a scapula shaped energy that rises out of my body. Off center, behind my head, to the right. It glows red and hot. Often I call it anxiety. Removed from context it is a force. A force that wakes me. Drives me. Strengthens me. It is always present. Demanding interpretation. It can’t be diminished. It can’t be destroyed. I am always vigilant. The wrong application of meaning will melt the reactor of my soul. Every single thought I possess is in dereference to this energy.