12:28am, lying in bed, Chandler, Arizona, Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, first day of December. Questions: Do I not put myself out there enough or is my worldview non-accessible? Am I strange or a hack? Am I shy or weird? Does what I say not appeal to a large audience or I am not trying/succeeding in reaching people? Do I suck? Do I have integrity or am I bizarre? What is synonym for esoteric? But not esoteric on purpose. Inadvertently esoteric?
Month: November 2021
Ugh
2:13pm, in my office, South Phoenix, Tuesday Afternoon. Here is a quote from a post yesterday: “The office girl that was out for two weeks with covid came back. She said she had a negative test but she sounds awful.” Update: She just found out she is actually COVID positive.
Contrive and pander
8:33am in my office, Phoenix, Arizona, Tuesday morning. When I try to write something contrived or pander to a specific audience my souls shrivels. And it is terrible.
Money
1:54pm, afternoon, last Monday of November, in my office, Phoenix. I am not obsessed with making money. I want more if I can get it but the need doesn’t consume me. I work to make money but the jobs I do aren’t particularly exciting, enjoyable or rewarding. What if money wasn’t an issue? Scenario: I get my current salary/benefits + 3% COLA adjustment for the rest of my life. What would I do? First, I would focus on how the amount isn’t enough. I would complain that I can’t pay down debt, buy a decent house or cover current expenses. Then I would look for a job to make more money! Would I seriously do that? I hate to say it but I think it is true. I would be bored and getting a job would alleviate boredom and give me more financial power. Oh my hell. I can’t believe that. Now I am depressed.
Covid
9:20am Monday morning after thanksgiving, in my office. The office girl that was out for two weeks with covid came back. She said she had a negative test but she sounds awful. A triage nurse is quitting rather than getting the covid vaccine so we don’t have coverage at night next week. Our clinical director is still out with covid and our marketing manager’s family is all sick with covid.
Monday after thanksgiving
6:03am in Arizona apartment, Monday morning, after thanksgiving. My energy has a positive flow with no post-weekend let down. I am feeling refreshed and ready to work. The holiday was busy and I spent more time in Irvine/Lake Forest than Dana Point, but it was enjoyable. I like to be active. Keeping busy keeps me from overthinking.
Back in Arizona
8:29pm, apartment in Arizona, Sunday night. We made it back to Chandler around 6:15pm. Traffic sucked. After a quick dinner we went to bed early. My mom leaves for Wyoming on Wednesday.
Leaving
9am, in Dana Point, Sunday morning. My mom and I are heading back to Arizona. It was a good weekend but a little frantic. Having my mom stay so far north created some logistics issues but nothing unmanageable. I have been thinking about the WIL a lot this trip. Of course, I am always thinking about the WIL. Some days I stuff my feelings and think I can move on. Other times I realize I can never move on.
Back to shopping
3:59pm Irvine California, shopping center, Saturday afternoon. We are back at the same shopping center as before. The girls had credits left over from the virtual reality arcade and we had to buy a birthday present. They are also shopping for cheap accessories like necklaces and rings. I ended up having to order a hoodie online for the birthday present. We need to pick it up at a store closer to Dana Point. We will leave soon and head back home to get it. This morning I took the dog for the usual walk then picked my mom up for another walk. I was so tired afterwards I took a little nap on the couch. Shortly after noon we went to lunch with the whole family plus my daughters friend and her mom before coming out to Irvine. It has been a fun weekend. I am glad to keep busy and spend time with my daughter.
Black Friday
4:31pm at a bookstore in a shopping center, Irvine, California, Friday after thanksgiving. I am killing time at a bookstore while my daughter and her friend visit a virtual reality arcade. I took them both to see a movie. We are at the same shopping center as last night. What a difference between thanksgiving and Black Friday. Last night the place was deserted. Today we had to park on the top level of the farthest parking structure. This morning I slept until 6am then picked my mom up at 7:30am. We drove to Dana Point to walk around the harbor then back up The Street of the Golden Lantern. The grade is pretty steep on that road so by the time we got coffee and back to my wife’s apartment we were exhausted. After eating lunch we headed back north to drop my mom off at the hotel and to pick up my daughters friend. It is getting to be evening and the sun is setting. We will meet my mom and wife for dinner then take the friend back home.
mikemeyer949 