Living in the future is a downer

9:01am, in my office, Phoenix, Arizona, Friday morning, December 3, 2021. Driving to work today felt like a Monday. That was a bummer because Friday morning usually means being in a good mood, listening to music and looking forward to some free time. But this Friday has been different. First, work has felt exhausting with drama and problems. Too many things have not gone to plan or people have not stepped up. It makes me feel disheartened. Second, this is the first weekend I will be alone since I last drank alcohol October 24, 2021. I typically don’t do well on weekends I don’t drink. Physically I don’t miss alcohol, but not drinking creates unintended issues. In the past I spent hours looking forward to having a drink, then another couple of hours actually drinking and subsequently a day or two nursing a hangover from having a drink (or 6). Now I am worried I will spend the time sitting around my apartment feeling anxious and bored. We will see how it goes. Maybe it won’t be so bad. On a side note, I have come to realize living in the future is a lot less fun than dreaming about the future. When I was younger I filled my time fantasizing about what I would accomplish, who I would meet and interact with, where I would live, what car I would drive and how much money I would make. Then around my mid-thirties it became obvious I better get to work if I wanted to make those dreams actually come true. That is the same time life became less exciting. Dreaming about a big magnificent future is like running up your credit cards. Actually having to go and make your dreams happen is like paying the bills. The first part is where all the excitement is, the second part is kind of a downer.