Working in California

4:45pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Monday afternoon, January 31, 2022. Day four of being sick; mostly coughing and exhaustion. Went to work early, finished payroll, then took my computer home to do meetings here. At noon I had a call with the recruiter about Southern California. Might be some good opportunities though not really anything better. I really hate working in California.

Sunday updates

2:34pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Sunday afternoon, January 30, 2022. The feeling of exhaustion is still with me, Not sure how to shake it. Working out wasn’t too bad this morning but then again it didn’t last too long. The walk was beautiful this morning, enhanced by a beautiful sunrise. Later this afternoon I plan to go out, get some fresh air. A recruiter emailed me yesterday (Saturday) about the job in Riverside County. We are going to talk tomorrow, about that job and a regional position she is recruiting for. There are a lot of opportunities are open in Southern California right now.

Still under the weather

4:05pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Saturday afternoon, January 29, 2022. Today has been another lazy day. The cough abated slightly but fatigue is still present. Most of the afternoon and all of the morning was spent in bed preserving energy. Payroll must be completed tomorrow, followed by a busy work week.

Arizona longer

3:56pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Friday afternoon, January 28, 2022. Exhaustion overcame me yesterday and a cough developed in my chest. Consequently, most of today was spent sitting on the couch or lying in bed. Two work calls couldn’t be canceled but that was alright, both calls ended up being positive and affirming. I feel appreciated right now. Maybe I will stay in Arizona a little longer.

Riverside County

5:20pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Thursday evening, January 27, 2022. I applied for a job in riverside county, California this morning. There was no response so there isn’t much chance of getting it but, an application was sent. Still keeping my options open and keeping myself available for good opportunities.

Lease options

4:21pm, office, Phoenix, Arizona, Wednesday afternoon, January 26, 2022. I found out this afternoon it is possible to sign any length lease for the apartment. That reduces my stress. I can’t say I want to stay in Arizona but I am not ready to move. Five months would take me to September and the beginning of high school for my daughter.

Money changes everything

3:28pm, office, Phoenix, Arizona, Tuesday afternoon, January 25, 2022. The regional leadership team got new bosses this past month. It has changed the dynamic of our relationship. No longer are they patient and supportive, but rather nervous and insecure. All they can focus on are numbers; did we get more referrals? Has the census increased? Are we achieving revenue targets? The change was inevitable but still disappointing. I shouldn’t be surprised, money changes everything.

Letting go of the WIL

1:21pm, in a class at the office, Phoenix, Arizona, Monday afternoon, January 24, 2022. The past week was monumental. I never thought I would say this but; I have let go of the WIL. The woman who I loved for over a decade, who I share the most sacred parts of me and the relationship that defined me as a person is over in my mind. Working through the remnants of our relationship consumed me. Now it is complete. I am not sad, I am not hurt, just relieved. I can move forward and so can she.

Stopping in Blythe

2:10pm Pacific, grocery store parking lot, Blythe, California , Sunday afternoon, January 23, 2022. Stopped to take a rest for a moment in Blythe before continuing on to Arizona. Friday I came out through San Diego. It wasn’t a bad route but not worth the extra time. The visit to see family was fun. My daughter showed me some new games and videos while I had two good walks with the dog. Last night I drank a couple of beers and watched the football game.

My daughters mother

7:28am, PST, apartment in Dana Point, CA. Saturday day morning, January 22, 2022. A year ago the woman I married stopped referring to me as her husband. She began introducing me as our daughters dad. I didn’t think much of it and still reflexively called her my wife. However this past week we had a discussion about future plans. She made it clear we will never be together in that capacity ever again. I am not shocked or offended, we have been strictly platonic for well over a decade and I have no desire to revisit that status. But I did make the decision to follow suit. We are legally married but we aren’t husband and wife any more. She is now my friend and simply the woman I know as my daughters mother.