June 20, 2023, Tuesday night, 6:55pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. Made it through another Tuesday. Which is an accomplishment. These are the hardest days to ramp back up for a week in the office. Palm Desert is doing alright. Having the new director there brings the stress down. Bakersfield is a mess. The clinical team is not strong. I am required to develop skills and alter my priorities. That bothered me at first. However, now I see an opportunity to grow. That mindset change re-energizes me. I can embrace a challenge when I see value.

June 19, Monday evening, 7:21pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. Drank beer on Friday night and have felt awful since. Same thing happened when I drank beer three weeks prior. It causes discomfort In my diaphragm that takes days to resolve. I know better than to keep doing something that causes distress but old habits die hard. Hopefully, when I wake up tomorrow all will be better. I think I will hold off drinking beer again for at least a couple weeks.

June 17/18, 2023, Saturday/Sunday, 12:41pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA, Father’s Day. Yesterday was a good day. The highlight was driving around in the evening with my daughter. We listened to music, picked up some items at the grocery store then got sandwiches before heading home. Today is Father’s Day. I worked out first thing then took the dog for a walk between coffee runs. My daughter and her mom bought donuts and gave me a nice cooler as a present. I am back in Dana Point, doing laundry and getting ready. We are going to have sushi for dinner.

June 16, 2023, Friday night, 7:22pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Today feels like the day my daughter became an adult. She wanted to go to the movie alone. It was a 3:45pm show at a local theater and it was an animated Disney movie. The situation seemed safe. Yet she didn’t come out when the movie ended at 5:30pm. My mind pictured worst case scenarios. I texted and called. Finally, she emerged 15 minutes later. I don’t know why she was late and I was too upset to ask. Last week her and her friend were cagey about buying stuff with my credit card and trying to hide it. On one hand I want to give her freedom to explore the world. But on the other hand I worry about the things she doesn’t realize can harm her.

June 15, 2023, Thursday night, 6:58pm, pacific standard time, hotel in palm Desert, California, USA. Fourth day in Palm Desert this week. I have been here since Sunday afternoon. I need to get the hell out of here. Today was non-stop drama from Bakersfield. While dealing with a busy Palm Desert branch, a welcome lunch for the new director, training the new director, presenting the quarterly quality metrics and reviewing the monthly operating report. Time to shut off my brain and not think about work for the rest of the night.

June 14, 2023, Wednesday night, 6:59pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA. The new administrator and I share the same first name. It was causing confusion when staff members needed something from him or me. To remedy the situation I suggested using the first initial of our last names. Instead, they have taken to calling him “New Mike” and me “Old Mike.” I am not sure I like that for a number of reasons. But, the monikers seem to have stuck so I guess I will roll with the situation and age old gracefully.

June 12, 2023, Tuesday morning, 6:37am, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California,USA. I am torn. The next three weeks present conflicting interests. First, I should be in Palm Desert training the new director. Second, I should be in Bakersfield since they don’t have a director. And lastly, I should take time off because I am absolutely burned out. After next week there are two interesting scenarios offering respite. A mid-week training in Reno, followed by the July 4th holiday. Both are opportunities (and reasons) not to travel to branches during that time. Of course both mean letting go and trusting things won’t fall apart without me. I need to stop being a stubborn moral masochist and relax, practice self-care and prioritize my own rejuvenation. Otherwise they will permanently be without me anyways.

June 12, 2023, Monday night, 6:41pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA. The new director started today. Spent an hour getting him set up on the computer. Now he has two weeks of online education before really digging in to orientation. We will see how it goes. It is a tough job, lots of turnover, not a lot of work/life balance. And he is young. I don’t know if I could handle that much stress when I was that young. Hell, I don’t know if I can handle it now.

June 11, 2023, Sunday evening, 6:38pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA. Drove to Palm Desert this afternoon after spending the day taking my daughter to a birthday party at Dave & Busters in Orange, California. The weather was overcast until 30 miles out, then the skies cleared and dust storms began. I don’t know which is worse, rain or dust. My sinuses do better in the dust but, it is still annoying. The new director for the Palm Desert branch starts tomorrow, eight months after the last director’s resignation and my interim tenure began. There is a lot riding on getting him through orientation and having him staying in the position long term. Time to start a new chapter for everyone and see what the future holds.

June 11, 2023, 1:48am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Went to the transformer movie in Irvine with my daughter and her friend yesterday (June 10). It was still early when the movie got out so we walked around the outdoor mall and stopped in various stores. At least the girls did. They shopped for clothes while I stood outside. My daughter is at an age where she is embarrassed to shop with her dad. It worked out well though. Her friend helped her pick out nice clothes and I paid for them. In the end, everyone was happy. Other highlights for June 10: got coffee, walked the dog in the morning, traded out the rental car. The day went fast and work was surprisingly quiet. A rare moment to enjoy down time and a silent phone.