July 31, 2023, Monday afternoon, 12:31pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Chandler, Arizona, USA. I am in Arizona. And I am mopey nostalgic. The mood would be different if I came later in the week. Thursday, Friday and Saturday have much more better energy. By contrast, Mondays are small and vulnerable. Also, today is the anniversary of the last time family came to visit Arizona. Remembering how much fun that was makes now even harder. I keep pinging back and forth from enjoying the moment to feeling heartbroken I no longer live here. I guess I will just ride the emotions and see where they go.

July 30, 2023, Sunday morning, 11:29am, pacific standard time, car wash in Laguna Hills, California, USA. If all goes well I will be in Arizona tonight for the first time since the move. Right now I am at the car wash getting the old work car cleaned so I can drop it off in Palm Desert. From there I will get a rental car and proceed to Phoenix. It is going to be a long day and I won’t get in until late but I am resisting getting anxious. I am letting the day happen and not worrying about time. I want to enjoy the moment.

July 29, 2023, Saturday night, 8:52pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Drove to San Diego with the family to pick up my new work car. It is a lot nicer than the one I currently have. Lots more bells and whistles. Later, we all went to the new Haunted Mansion movie in Aliso Viejo. This evening my daughter and I drove around trying to find an open car wash but everything was closed. We settled for dinner at In and Out. All in all it was a fun day but, I am behind on my preparations for tomorrow’s trip and next week’s meetings. Things are going to be hectic for the next couple weeks, and beyond actually. The Monday I go back to work I have a dentist appointment and that Friday is the first day of school. Life is moving quickly which I don’t mind. Keeping busy, makes time go faster and that is usually a good thing.

July 28, 2023, Friday night, 8:17pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Got into Aliso Viejo from Bakersfield around 3:30pm. Did some work, grabbed dinner and was heading to Dana Point when my daughter said she wanted to drive around and listen to music. So we drove to the post office to pick up the keys for the new company car. Tomorrow my daughter, her mom and I are road tripping to San Diego to get the vehicle. I am going to leave the old one in Palm Desert for a new employee then take a rental car to Arizona and Las Vegas. It is all a little exhausting but it will be worth it when I have a new, upgraded car.

July 27, 2023, Thursday evening, 6:11pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. Quiet in the office today. The person that maintains records and answers phones was off. Very few people stopped in and the phones didn’t ring much so I quiet time to myself. It felt good to enjoy a stress free day. Tomorrow, I head back to Orange County and don’t return to Bakersfield for two weeks. I am starting to get excited about my vacation. I can’t to to decompress and have fun.

July 26, 2023, Wednesday night, 7:44pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. Talked with my mom this evening about our upcoming trip to Wyoming. I am looking forward to spending time with her. We will also get to see uncles cousins and nieces. Which is a rarity. This week has been taxing. I completed a root cause analysis to correct issues I inherited. I am almost finished with performance evaluations. This job has worn me out but I think that is the point. I want to be challenged as much as possible. However, I am eventually going burn out. Then what?

July 25, 2023, Tuesday (written July 26, 1am), hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. I have to admit, I really like this job and enjoy the work. But, with all the problems in Bakersfield the chaos is wearing me down. It reminds me of a video game I played with my daughter not too long ago. In the game, the main character is pursued by a stalking entity. At one point there is a ring of spring locks that must be constantly tightened to keep out the bad guy. The task is monumentally frustrating. As each lock loosens it begins to blink red. If you do not tighten it the blinking grows faster until the red light remains on constantly. At that point, your character is captured, the game is over and you are forced to try again. I remember vividly the sense of panic trying to keep those locks tightened and the inevitable feeling of futility when I couldn’t succeed. Right now it feels all the locks are burning red in Bakersfield.

July 23-24, 2023, Monday evening, 6:24pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. Yesterday (Sunday), spent the day running errands and driving around with my daughter. Bought new workout shorts, vitamins and water. Also picked up sparkly water and chips. I have anxious all day today (Monday). There is a lot to do this week and my supervisor covers for me the week after next. Probably should have thought that through better. Having her cover causes anxiety. There are so many issues that won’t be resolved any time soon and I don’t need more scrutiny. I just wish I could look forward to Arizona and Las Vegas next week then our Wyoming/Utah trip after that without feeling worried. On a positive note: I found out I can pick up a newer fleet car in San Diego this weekend. I am excited about that.

July 22, 2023, Saturday night, 9:05pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I woke up a little later than usual this morning. Didn’t feel like doing anything but managed to get a walk and workout in. The day went fast. I took my daughter and her friend to the new Barbie movie, picked them up, took her friend home, picked up a pizza and went back to Aliso Viejo. My daughter got her new computer so she was engrossed in that. I took the dog for a walk this evening before coming back to Dana Point. Now I am sipping beer watching John Prine and Godsmack videos on YouTube.

July 21, 2023, Friday night, 11:13pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Got out of Bakersfield shortly after 10am. Arrived in Aliso Viejo at 2:30pm. I had to stop and pick up a plunger for my daughter’s mom so I was a little bit later than usual. When I got to the apartment my daughter left to get something to eat and drive around. When we got back I worked until 5pm. By 6pm I was ready to head to Dana Point and unpack from the week but my daughter started making a meal delivery kit dinner. I decided to stay and help her. We had so much fun, talking and cooking. What made it so fun was the spontaneity. If we had planned such an activity it wouldn’t have been nearly as enjoyable. I am glad everything worked out. That moment was the highlight of my week.