July 20, 2023, Thursday afternoon, 12:14pm, pacific standard time, office in Bakersfield, California, USA. My old job in Phoenix was posted on LinkedIn this morning. Not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, there is a tinge of nostalgia. On the other, amazement they can afford a full time director. When I left the administrator in Mesa was covering both branches. The site changed names since I left. Maybe the new moniker facilitated growth. I have to admit it wounds my pride. Are they better off without me? Was I the one keeping them back? I am probably reading too much in to the situation. I am sure it isn’t as rosy as all that. Still, if I am honest, I didn’t think they would ever hire that role again.

July 19, 2023, Wednesday evening, 7:34pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. This morning on my way to work I had a break through that hinged on one question; what would be the ideal length of time to work? Previously, my answer was quantitative with specific years or a given age. All which implied there was someone I wanted to be yet refrained from becoming while I earned money. This morning my answer was more practical. “Ideally,” I thought, “I never stop working since it is always better to make money than not.” Whether that is true doesn’t matter. What matters is I subsequently rejected believing there was a better version of myself being denied. When I accepted the me of the moment the notion I wasn’t fulfilled disappeared. I am who I want to be right now. And I feel good about it.

July 18, 2023, Tuesday (written Wednesday morning, 4:02am, hotel gym in Bakersfield, California,USA. Yesterday was a day in the office. The weather is hot in Bakersfield, like everywhere in the southwest. The only time I left the office was early morning to buy snacks and water for the staff. This morning feels good. I can see my vacation starting soon. After next week I visit Arizona before driving to Las Vegas for a conference. I am curious to see Chandler again. I have not been there since moving in March. After that I go with my daughter and her friend to visit my mom in Wyoming for a week. I am excited for the trip. I am even more excited to not be in the Bakersfield (or any) office for a couple of weeks.

July 17, 2023, Monday night, 10:40pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. The computers went down at work today. Actually they have been down since Friday. While frustrating, it is actually kind of nice. No constant emails or demand for action. Everything has stopped. That provides me a rare chance to relax. Which is appreciated because Bakersfield is a mess. There is just too much to be done and I don’t have the bandwidth to touch it all. Without support I worry the branch will run me off like it has previous leaders. This is a critical juncture. I need to be able to articulate my assessment, develop a plan and marshal resources or I am going to drown.

July 15-16, Saturday/Sunday, 4:31pm, pacific standard time, Sunday afternoon, outdoor shopping center, Irvine, California, USA. Yesterday, my daughter and I went to In and Out burger at 9:45am. We tried to be the first order of the day. Alas, someone beat us to the drive in so, we were second. Last night, I drove to Temecula to meet a new friend. We had a good time. Talked about music and life. I didn’t get back to Dana Point until 1am. Too late to do a post even though I remembered. Today I took it easy and now my daughter is with some friends in Irvine. I am hanging out at the outdoor shopping center waiting for her. When we are done I will drop her off in Aliso Viejo and go back to Dana Point to do laundry. This weekend went by fast. I wish the weekday went as quick.

July 14, 2023, Friday night, 9:50pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. A friend/coworker texted me this morning at 7:30am, asking if I was in Bakersfield. I told her yes, but I planned on leaving at 10am. I said she should stop by the office and say, “Hi.” She replied she couldn’t, she was going to the hospital. Apparently she had a procedure being done that required a ride home. Since she just moved to Bakersfield and travels like I do, she doesn’t have a group of family or friends in the area. Since I was in town she reached out to me. Needless to say I offered to pick her up. However, by the time all was said and done I didn’t leave her house until after 1pm. On top of that, work was busy. I didn’t get out of Bakersfield until 4pm. When I arrived in Orange County at 8pm I took my daughter to Ulta beauty (second time in one week for me going to Ulta) and then baskin robbins for ice cream. Now I am home, in bed, ready to fall asleep and end this day once and for all.

July 13, 2023, Thursday night, 7:19pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. Two pieces of good news; first, the state called for Bakersfield and said the complaint was unsubstantiated and the case was closed. Such a relief. Second, palm Desert made money last month. The first time the branch earned a profit in over two years. I am proud of that accomplishment. And I am happy I don’t have to write a plan of correction for Bakersfield. I talked with the regional Vice President about Bakersfield this afternoon. She has a plan for more clinical support. Which means I don’t have to de-camp here like I did Palm Desert. That frees me up for other possibilities. I am motivated to get through this month and see how the second half of the year goes.

July 12, 2023, Wednesday evening, 7:34pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. I have a massive blemish on my nose. It makes the right side of my face red and tender. The pain was driving me nuts so after work I went to Ulta beauty and bought an acne serum. It at least made the situation a little better. Now, hopefully over night the swelling will subside and my pores can go back to normal. It is no fun to have something like that with no means to correct or conceal the area.

July 11, 2023, Tuesday night, 6:43pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. I can hear people outside my window in the hotel pool area. It sounds like a couple families having a great time together. I imagine they are on vacation and the kids couldn’t wait to get in the water. I remember summer days like that. Eager to be outside, splashing around, laughing and making memories. I am ready to go on vacation and make some fun memories myself. Only three more weeks. I worked out coverage for the office, now I need to finish strong and get to august.

July 10, 2023, Monday night, 7:12pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. Another day in Bakersfield. God, I hope it doesn’t take as long to fill the Director position as it did in Palm Desert. I don’t mind the work but it is pointless without someone to carry on afterwards. The right candidate needs to have a great attitude, a willingness to learn and wants to grow professionally. I am putting that out on the universe in hopes she/he manifests in existence. Speaking of which, the new director from Palm Desert is here this week. Since I couldn’t split time between the two branches any more I had him come up to Bakersfield for training. We will see how it goes. Tomorrow is the staff meeting and compliance training. Should be an interesting week.