Purpose and passion

September 22, 2023, Friday morning, 6:49am, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA. I had a lot of time to think yesterday. The drive from Bakersfield to Palm Desert is pretty sparse with limited radio reception. My thoughts went back to memories of Utah and being a Chaplain. It also got me thinking about my relationship with time and writing. For months I have mitigated stress imagining working in Phoenix Tuesday through Thursday as a hospice chaplain. I would leave Orange County Monday, work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday then go back Friday. Basically, the schedule I have now with a lot less stress. If I did that I would have more free time. How would I fill it? Most likely with writing, at least in theory. But what would be the point? I no longer expect recognition or income. My audience is limited. I only enjoy writing in short bursts throughout the day. If I were to change the structure of my routine what is the purpose? Outside of money or boredom I can’t imagine why I do this current job. But the alternative is just as underwhelming. I am at the point where all the current motivators are secondary. I don’t want money, title or recognition. I want to have purpose and passion.