November 8, 2023, Wednesday evening, 7:10pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Palm Desert, California,USA. Drove to Victorville and back to Palm Desert today. Nice to visit another branch and meet new people. I will go again next week but won’t stay in Palm Desert. The drive was rather long. On another note; my apartment in Chandler is available for rent again. The people that moved in after me must have signed a six month lease. Seeing it made so nostalgic I cried. I wish I could go back, if only for a moment.

November 8, 2023, Wednesday morning, 5:45, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA. This is one of those mornings where the universe is in perfect balance. Everything feels exactly where it should be. I just finished working out and ate a protein bar. Now I am enjoying a cup of coffee, watching the weather and reading the Las Vegas Sun about football games this weekend. it all fells warm and wonderful. I love and I am loved. I have security, reward and challenge in equal measure. These moments are fleeting. It is important to document them when they occur.

November 7, 2023, Tuesday night, 6:51pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Palm Desert, California,USA. I had a restless nights sleep. The Palm Desert branch is making me anxious. There are so many matters unresolved it is overwhelming . Luckily once I got started things fell into place. I was able to create three important binders for the upcoming survey. Now I need to focus on employee files and contracts. That is going to be daunting. I can’t possibly do it all myself. I need to delegate. Something I haven’t been particularly good at in the past. I will be glad when this situation feels a little more under control and survey is complete.

November 6, 2023, Monday night, 7:02pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Palm Desert, California, USA. For most of the day I felt empty. No desire or unmet need arose to occupy my mind. Which is very odd. Usually a longing to escape, a lost memory or a hoped for future invades my thoughts. Today was bereft of such things. I didn’t care to escape any more than I cared about attending work. Which made today oddly depressing. I guess overall it was fine, I tend to overly fixate on that which I have lost. However, I have to admit, when all is said and done, it feels better to feel sadness, perhaps even hopelessness , than it is to feel nothing at all.

November 5, 2023, Sunday evening, 6:59pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Today was the equivalent moment I was laid off from my job in Phoenix. 10 days short of 15 months. Which means I have officially worked this job longer than that one. I thought about this moment a lot the past two months. Now that it has arrived, it is anticlimactic. There really isn’t much to note except its finally passed. At least I can now say this job is the longest tenure of my operations career. That counts for something. Today was very nice. To begin, I forgot about daylight savings time ending so I enjoyed an extra hour of sleep. Then I walked and worked out, grocery shopped, did laundry, showered, took the company car in for service, got a haircut, returned items to the mall, bought clothes, walked around the mall, drove out to Aliso Viejo, went for a walk with the dog, ate dinner and returned to Dana Point. It was an extremely productive day. Yet, I can still think of a dozen of things I wished I had done in addition to my adventures. When all is said and done you simply cannot have it all. You will always enjoy what you have and want that which you currently do not possess.

November 4, 2023, Saturday evening, 6:09pm, pacific standard time, Pasadena Convention Center, Pasadena, California, USA. Spent the day at the Pasadena anime convention. My daughter met up with some friends she met online. I hung with them some but mostly they spent the day together and I checked football scores. I am happy she is having fun. Her friends seem nice and they agent along. I however, am tired. We have been at the convention for 8 hours. I am ready to leave and head back to Orange County.

November 4, 2023, Saturday morning, 6:55am, pacific standard time, parking lot of gym in Laguna Niguel. I am thinned skin. I do not accept feedback very well. This past Wednesday my supervisor put a one-on-one meeting on our calendar for Friday afternoon. I spent the two days in between fretting about what she would say. Turns out it was just to catch up and talk about needs at different branches. We even talked about opportunity to advance in the organization. Yet, all I did was worry about what negative things she might be mentioned. I wish I was braver and more resilient but I guess deep down I am insecure.

November 2, 2023, Thursday night, 7:15pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I drove to Dana point from Palm Desert this afternoon and arrived at 5pm. I had picked up dinner earlier so all I needed was to change clothes and turn on the television. I ate dinner and watched a movie. Looking back I realize tonight was the first time in over a year and a half I physically went to work then came home to eat dinner. Usually I am going back to a hotel room or, more infrequently, working from home. The experience brought back memories of Phoenix and my apartment in Chandler. I don’t miss the job I worked in Arizona but I do miss my apartment.

November 1, 2023, Wednesday night, 7:0pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Palm Desert, California,USA. This morning on my walk I had a moment of peace. Memories from past experiences waded through my mind and washed over my emotions. I remembered my dad, friends from high school and experiences long forgotten. Something about the start of a new month evokes renewal. October especially. With Halloween ending October and All Saints Day starting November it is the perfect time to reflect on all I am grateful for. I hope the sense of contentment remains throughout the coming weeks. It is nice to feel happiness.