Clarity

March 25, 2024, Monday night, apartment in Dana Point,California,USA. Today was the first day I really thought about if I want this job to be my legacy. I have enjoyed it but I am grinding through frustration to get a paycheck. There has to be something more to life. The problem is I can’t figure out what. I look back on my time in Phoenix and I appreciate getting through 15 months of work, the subsequent 3 months looking for a new gig and finally the seven months working for this company while still having my place in Chandler. It is a tidy narrative I reflect on fondly. But if I never stop grinding I can never reflect. And if I do stop grinding what is the consequence? Gearing back up and doing it again for a different brand? I am dammed either way. Sometimes the best I can hope for is deeper clarity somewhere down the line. Either because it was forced upon me or it was there all along and I just needed the right mindset to see it.