August 31, 2024, Saturday evening, 6:31pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California,USA. Woke up this morning with a slight sinus infection and have been dealing with that all day. I don’t feel sick, but it is uncomfortable. I stayed out last night and had a good time talking with a friend. This morning I worked out then took my daughter and her boyfriend to the Irvine spectrum and picked them up four hours later. My daughters mom is out of town today so I am in Aliso Viejo hanging with her and the dog. Right now I am taking it easy. I just bought and started reading a new novella written by my friend Michele. The first chapter was pretty erotic. I look forward to reading the rest!

August 30, 2024, Friday night, 6:39pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I was all set to stay in tonight when a friend texted and asked if I was free. We are going to meet halfway in Irvine for a drink at 8pm. Today was good. Drove in from Victorville this morning. Picked my daughter up from school. Took her to get in and out then went to Trader Joe’s for some broccoli, rice and stir fry sauce. I don’t really crave anything for dinner except rice, vegetables and tofu. Funny how I eat better because I don’t feel well. All those years of futilely trying will power to eat nutritious items. I just needed to get sick to get healthy. Ironic.

August 29, 2024, Thursday afternoon, 4:39pm, pacific standard time, Home2Suites, Victorville,California,USA, room 237. Today is the start of college football and the twenty-two year anniversary of my last day working at the wyoming state hospital. That was a Thursday as well. I remember that time because the following Saturday I packed up and joined my then wife/daughters mother in Valencia, California. We had sold our house in Wyoming in June so she left early to get us settled while I stayed behind in my grandma’s basement. I was doing a unit of clinical pastoral education that didn’t wrap up until the end of august and needed to finish that prior to departing. Moving to valencia and subsequently Utah 9 months later was the golden age of my life. It lasted until late 2008. Fond memories of Utah are going through my mind today. I will enjoy them and get ready for a tough meeting tomorrow. In the morning I have to let an employee go because of census decline.

August 28, 2024, Wednesday evening, 6:38pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in San Bernardino, California,USA. Today was all about the director meeting. I slept in until close to six am, showered, picked up bagels, then headed to the office at seven. I was there until after four. Leading every discussion and running the meeting exhausted me. I came back to the room afterwards , ate dinner and now I am watching the office on Comedy Central

August 27, 2024, Tuesday night, 6:32pm, pacific standard time, Hilton garden inn, room 411, San Bernardino, California, USA. In town for my director meeting tomorrow. I feel like I am well prepped but didn’t get a chance to buy anything for the staff. Maybe I should go back out. Went to dinner tonight at Kalaveras. It was supposed to be a team dinner but only one person showed up. That is alright. It was fun to go out to dinner for a change rather than eating in my room alone.

August 26, 2024, Monday night, 6:37, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. This morning I realized two things. One, I changed my workout routine a while ago and I couldn’t recall why. I used to walk the dog, take my daughter to school then go to the gym. That gave me an extra hour of sleep. I believe the reason was because it made the late morning more hectic but still, that extra hour of sleep was nice. The Second thing I realized is the behavior I have on weekends is detrimental. I have too much freedom and alone time. That is a bad combination. For so long I lived with my daughter and her mom. Or just her mom before my daughter was born. Before the pregnancy I had alone time once every couple months when her mom would travel for work or see family. Those times disappeared with the baby. I mourned losing those moments because it pushed me out of balance. I wanted/needed an outlet for indulgence. When I was in Phoenix I regained some of that energy. I had alone time and freedom one weekend a month. That was good. I was happy. Now, living alone I have too much time to make bad decisions. I am back out of balance but to the opposite extreme. I don’t know how but I need to find balance again. This time finding social engagement that isn’t destructive. I have come full circle. I used to have too little freedom, now I have too much.

August 25, 2024, Sunday morning, 8:29am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Today is the 27th anniversary of leaving Wyoming to do my pastoral internship in Paradise,California. It is also the 26 year anniversary of returning to Wyoming from that internship. Back then, it was important for me to stay away from home for a year. To prove what, I cant’t recall. But I accomplished that goal. Even purposefully taking two days to drive through Nevada to achieve it. Today I have been thinking about how I don’t count time at work as much now that I have been here over two years. I am not the same person that started this adventure so it feels disjointed trying to tie together an old theme and a new reality. I am glad I am not obsessing over hitting certain numbers. That was stressful. Of course without that obsession I feel a little aimless. There just is no perfect way to view the world.

August 24, 2024, Saturday night, 7:15pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Had a good time last night. Went to patsy’s in Laguna Niguel and Had a couple drinks with a new friend. I woke up this morning and did my usual walk/workout followed by laundry and a nap. This afternoon I went and saw my daughter and took her dog for a walk. Now I am watching football and sipping a beer.

August 23, 2024, Friday night, 6:14pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Took my daughter to her first day of school this morning then headed to La Jolla for meetings at the scripps hospital there. Came home, then went and saw my daughter again before returning to Dana Point. I am glad I went to La Jolla today but now I feel behind at work. Even thought I went for work! I am hosting my director retreats next Wednesday. I will be glad when that is over. I have plans to go out tonight at 8:30pm. It is always hard to feel motivated when I have a commitment, even when it is something I want to do.

August 22, 2024, Thursday night, 7:24pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Got back from Carlsbad around nine this morning and worked from home all day. At four I picked up my daughter to mail a package and buy lunch items. School starts for her tomorrow at 8:20am. I am going to take her then head back to San Diego’s for a meeting at scripps La Jolla.