October 18, 2024, Friday evening, 5:54pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Go big or go home. I want a compensation number that will really get my attention. I am applying for President/C-suite jobs. Might as well swing away. The worst they can do is say no. It only takes one break to change a life’s trajectory. In my career I have more than sextupled my annual income, why can’t I do it again? Next week I have two interviews with recruiters. One is an informal introductory call. The other is to specially discuss a position in Arizona. I am going to travel next week to see my mom. My plan is to visit Arizona then cut through Nevada and Utah to get to Wyoming.

October 17, 2024, Thursday morning, 10:52am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. The silence is getting to me. I went from a torrent of communication via text, calls, emails and messages to absolute nothing. My phone doesn’t ring, I haven’t heard from hiring managers and I don’t get any texts. I want to connect with the world in a productive and meaningful way. Getting a job seems the only viable way. I tried the entrepreneur route seven years ago and it was fruitless. I want to be connected again.

October 16, 2024, Wednesday night, 6:31pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Nothing gives me joy right now. No memories, activities or hope for the future. I am not depressed, more indifferent. I applied for a couple and cleaned up my resume. This afternoon I went to the dentist for a cleaning then went and saw my daughter and her mom. Stating tomorrow I will take my daughter to school more regularly. That is a silver lining to the no work situation.

October 15, 2024, Tuesday night, (Wednesday morning) 12:48am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I need to upgrade my computer. The one I am using is over 14 years old. It can’t perform basic functions and operates slowly or not at all. I also need to upgrade my resume and start taking this search seriously. Though I have time because of the separation agreement it is going to go quick. 2025 will be here in no time. I did apply for a Regional Vice President job today but with computer issues and a sloppy resume I am don’t have much hope.

October 14, 2024, Monday night, 7:52m, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Applied for a job in Costa Mesa this morning. Also reached out to work and reminded them I have a car they need to pick up. This afternoon I worked out at planet fitness, got my daughter Little Caesar’ crazy bread for dinner and bought her lunch items from Ralph’s up by their house.

October 12, 13, 2024, Saturday,Sunday morning 6:10am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. The meeting for AHA endorsement on Friday went well. The Board member was impressed by my experience and Clinical Pastoral Education. She even mentioned suggesting me as a potential Board candidate in 2025. After that I spent most of the day waiting to pick up my daughter from school. Her and I had a little spat Friday evening. She wasn’t feeling well and had plans Saturday yet she still wanted her boyfriend to visit. When I said “No” she complained. It was frustrating for both of us but in the end We were able to patch things up. She went to her convention yesterday and had a good time. My friend from Arizona is leaving this morning. We didn’t get to spend much time together but they is alright.

October 10, 11, Thursday, Friday, 8:42am, pacific standard time, parking lot of offices off oak canyon, Irvine, California, USA. Yesterday drove back from La Mirada, spent time with the dog and reviewed the Humanist Manifesto III. At 4pm I picked my daughter up from school, took her to Cane’s, then picked up her boyfriend, dropped them off, picked them up later, took him home and then took her home before going to my house. I have a friend visiting for a couple days. Mt apartment is not conducive to multiple people so I am doing my endorsement phone call in the car. One thing to note about my job search: I am approaching it looking for reprieve from pressure. That will never work. I have to go all in and be willing to risk or I might as well be dead.

October 9, 2024, Wednesday (written Thursday morning, 6:48am, pacific standard time), residence inn, room 221, La Mirada, California,USA, came north to visit a friend last night and used points for a hotel stay rather than driving back to Dana Point. I am glad I did it. It was nice not to have to drive back late. It was also nice to get outbid the house and not be alone another night. My life is so subdued right now. I have no routine and my phone barely rings. I used to get calls, texts, emails and notifications 24 hours a day. Now there is silence. I don’t miss my old life but I would like more structure.

October 8, 2024, Tuesday afternoon, 4:41pm, pacific standard time, parking lot Monarch Bay Plaza, Dana Point, California, USA. Drove to city of Orange today and renewed my BLS certification. Afterwards, I came home and updated my Chaplain resume. Originally I envisioned working PRN for a small hospice company. I am rethinking my strategy. I have gone so far professionally in hospice. It is hard to shift gears so drastically and still leave the door open for a return to Executive Leadership. Perhaps I am better off looking at Chaplain work in a different healthcare setting, one that would give me a chance to start fresh while leaving the door open for future opportunities.

October 6,7, 2024, Sunday, Monday morning 9:24am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Yesterday was a good day. Walked and worked out, took my daughter to get a bagel, washed the work car (I still have it and the gas card still works) then came home and sipped whiskey while watching football and listening to the dodgers/Padres game. This morning I felt better than I probably deserved. I will remember that when I complain about a hangover from a couple drinks. I am not sure what to do today. I got the link to complete my chaplain endorsement. I looked for jobs online and there is a potential one that looks like a decent fit. I could also blow everything off and just go for a long drive. This will be the last week of freedom before I have to buckle down and get serious. Whatever I choose I am excited to see what the future holds. want to do something different and rise to the best of my abilities.