A darkness

November 26, 2024, Tuesday morning, 7:30am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Since my previous job ended a darkness has followed me. One minute I am at peace and the next filled with dread. Back and forth goes my countenance like a ping pong ball. Where I once basked in a warm glow of purpose now resides a cold slab of indifference. I no longer know why I exist. I trip through the day, enduring a fear that I am slipping away. Maybe that is a good thing. I wasn’t really happier before. Yet I feel unmoored. As if all they I am could be blown away at any moment. Who am I? What do I stand for? What do I hope to achieve? Questions that swirl like a phantom with no answers in sight.