December 10,2024, Tuesday afternoon, 4:19pm, pacific standard time, Starbucks parking lot, Laguna Hills, California, USA. Just completed a survey for The Humanist Society. I committed to leading classes on end of life care and being a Humanist. That provides an outlet to interact with people. Which is good. I am getting tired of being in my own mind. I have been reflecting today on inner dialogue and outward interactions. Often I feel the thoughts in my head don’t align with my spoken words and actions. That could be why I find social settings draining. I am always putting on an act that exhausts me. My inner dialogue should be congruent with my outward relationships. I think the CEO/President/Chairman energy is what I need to honor inside and out. That is the most aligned I can be.

December 9, 2024, Monday afternoon, 2:05pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I made it to LAX to pick up my family at 5:47am. They landed two hours later but I don’t mind waiting. Better than sitting in traffic. I hung out at the cell phone parking lot off Vicksburg and 96th St. on our way home we grabbed Dunkin. Then a short while later my daughter wanted Panera for lunch. Consequently I have spent the day picking her up and taking her places. She is tired and doesn’t want to go to school tomorrow. On a personal note I am being receptive to the universe. I will either continue not working, get a job comparable to what I had, find an opportunity bigger than my imagination can comprehend, pivot to a new industry, or go back to being a chaplain. I am open to all possibilities.

Decmeber 8, 2024, Sunday afternoon, 12:56,pm, pacific standard time, office complex in Irvine, California, USA. Last day hanging with the dog. Got out of the house and drove to Irvine and to walk around the office complex.

December 7, 2024, Saturday night, 8:02pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California,USA. Walked this morning, worked out got coffee then spent the day with the dog. I have been re-reading Graham Greene’s The Power and the Glory. Also watching Brooklyn 99 and Black Dove. This evening I thought a good pursuit in between jobs would be to learn a new language. I am looking for an immersive Spanish tutor.

December 6, 2024, Friday evening, 5:19pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA. I did not hear from the rancho group this week after they said a meeting with branch clinical leadership would be arranged. I will follow up Monday. I don’t like being beholden to this company. They don’t seem eager to get this issue resolved. . However there isn’t much else to do. Options will remain thin until January.

December 5, 2024, Thursday night, 9:16pm, pacific standard, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California,USA. Took my daughter and her mom to LAX this afternoon. They flew to Dallas to attend an anime convention in Fort Worth this weekend. I am going to spend the next three days dog sitting in Aliso.

December 4, 2024, Wednesday evening 5:19pm, pacific standard time, parking lot of Albertsons, Ladera Ranch, California, USA. For various reasons I have six unopened bags of chips in my trunk, ten bottles of water and a box of crackers. I am feeling like a crazy old man. I need to figure out the job thing soon. Too much free time is driving me crazy.

December 3, 2024, Tuesday afternoon, 1:50pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Yesterday I contemplated how I interact with media. Though I read articles online I also watch videos on YouTube . If that is how I get information odds are most people do the same. So to engage with an audience I need to meet them where they are. But how? I have made videos in the past but never liked them and frankly found them boring. I needed a fresh approach. Then this morning I remembered videos I enjoyed where there were no words or narration. No on camera presence. Maybe I could do something like that? I decided to film waking up and my trip to the gym. I also filmed myself walking the dog. The good news is I got a lot of footage. The bad news is it takes a time and skill to edit it all. As a result my first video is me waking up. As I get better at filming and editing I can make longer videos. All in all I am proud of my first effort.

December 2, 2024, Monday afternoon, 4:20pm, pacific standard time, parking lot by my daughters school l, Laguna Hills, California,USA. I spoke with the Torrance recruiter today. She said they were unsure about moving forward because I didn’t have knowledge of the Los Angeles market. Which doesn’t matter because I have been successful in multiple markets. It is alright, I wasn’t going to take the job anyway. Rancho also reached out today. They want me to meet with the team at the office and then go to dinner next week. I don’t have anything else going on so I am up for more interviews however the process is getting a little absurd. At this point I talked with the VP of operations on the phone, met with him in person, interviewed with the VP of sales, the VP of clinical, the director of sales and the division Vice President. I have been interviewing for this job over a month already. Best case scenario I wouldn’t start until the beginning of 2025.

December 1, 2024, Sunday night, 6:15pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I lived the life I wanted to live. Or at least the best one I could. It isn’t unusual to ponder what I could have done differently. Job choices, relationships, financial matters, living arrangements. Often I find myself wishing I had done things differently. Maybe I would have been more successful and happier. However, what’s done is done. I lived the life I lived. There is no changing the past. I can only venture forward, always forward.