July 17, 2024, Wednesday night, 11:55pm, pacific standard time, Hilton garden inn, Victorville, California,USA. Got up around 3:39an and went to the gym, hung out in the morning then headed to the office. Had my executive coaching session then drove to target to buy snacks for the office. Spent the rest day working and attending virtual meetings. ordered BJ’s for dinner, pizza, chowder and wedge salad. Watched game shows then scrolled in my phone before lights out at 9pm.

July 16, 2024, Tuesday evening, 7:44, pacific standard time, Hilton Garden Inn, Victorville, California,USA. I ordered poke for dinner tonight. Probably not a good idea. The tuna smelled and tasted alright but definitely looked off. I am feeling gassy. Hopefully I don’t get sick. Work wise the day was fine. My supervisor was in town. We met in the morning and then he took off around 11:30am. I had the audit call at 1pm. It wasn’t great but I got through it. I have another call in two weeks and have a ton of work to prepare. I am not looking forward to it at all. The last couple days were about as much stress as I care to handle. On a personal note my daughter’s grandma is going home from rehab. Apparently she didn’t like the Skilled nursing facility. I don’t blame her. Most of them aren’t very nice. I am going to go up to Lompoc Saturday with my ex in laws to help move furniture. I guarantee now she isn’t going to like the Assisted Living either.

July 15, 2024, Monday night, 7:30pm, pacific standard time, Hilton garden inn , Victorville, California, USA. I am in the same room as last week. The same room I was in for my birthday. It is weird to come back to the same room two weeks in a row. A little too home like. Which at least I am not in Dana point. I have to admit, I really don’t like my apartment. Love the location, but hate the place. Can you tell I am in a grouchy mood? Tomorrow is a follow up call about the internal audit. I spent over 8 hours last week and this week catching up on audits. And still not close to being done. And literally, I am the only one stressed about it. The directors haven’t done anything. The ADCO hasn’t helped. Ultimately it falls on me so I guess i own the failure. I will eat the berating and keep plugging away. So stupid. So annoying. Also, my boss is coming to town to do my performance evaluation. Normally they would be my biggest stressor.

July 25, 2024, Sunday afternoon, 4:03pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point,California,USA. There are certain things I like about my job; my car, the company credit card, my paycheck, a sense of identity, doing something I am good at, etc. and there are certain things I don’t like; every work day is full, there are no skate days. Weekends are busy, my phone is constantly going off with calls, texts and emails. These two favors create constant tension. I am officially halfway through the time of my daughter started high school and when she will finish. That is the minimum period of time I said I wanted to stay. The part of me that like the job is good with that. The part of me that doesn’t like the job questions if I can even make it to September. There is always energy keeping me in and pulling me out. I guess eventually the tension will break one way or the other and I will leave. I doubt I have that much control over the timing. All I can do is stay in the game as long as possible and see when it all ends.

July 13, 2024, Saturday night, 11:11pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California,USA. Started the day with the Blue Lantern walk this morning before driving to the El Toro Planet Fitness for a workout. After coming home for a bit my daughter called so I drove to Aliso Viejo to see her. She was still in bed so I took the dog for a short walk then got gas for my work car, washed it, took it to jiffy lube for service and came back home to shower. I then went back to Aliso to take my daughter to Dunkin. This afternoon I stopped to get a haircut innLaguna Niguel. They were busy so I needed to come back 45 minutes later. To kill time I picked up the mail in Dana Point then returned at 2:45pm. After my haircut I visited Albertsons to get coffee pods, French bread pizza and gum. I came home, napped, did some chart audits for work and watched the new Beverly Hills Cop movie on Netflix before falling asleep.

July 11,12, 2024, Thursday, Friday night, 11:51pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point,California, USA. Drove back from Victorville yesterday morning and worked from home. Today, worked out at the gym, picked the dog up, took her to the groomers, took my daughter to Dunkin’ for lunch/breakfast, picked the dog up, took her home, hung out with my daughter on the couch watching YouTube then came home and went to bed early. I am tired of work filling up all five days of the week. There are no skate days with this job. It is exhausting. Also, my daughter’s California grandma continues to deal with health issues. I don’t know many details. I believe at this point, she is in Santa Barbara at a skilled nursing facility. Most likely the family is going to sell her house and move her to Valencia, closer to family. That means last weeks trip will be the last time we go to Lompoc. That makes me sad.

July 10, 2024, Wednesday evening, 7:48pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Victorville,California,USA. Woke up and worked out in the clothes I bought yesterday. It was alright, but not spectacular. Better than not going. The last two mornings I really have been dragging and I don’t know why. I don’t feel sick but I definitely don’t feel great. I drove to the office and had my coaching session at 9 then did some chart audits before attending meetings in the afternoon. I didn’t leave the office until almost six pm. Got Panera from door dash then ate candy and watched family feud. A friend invited me to go to Europe with her in November. I told her that was a little too ambitious for me at the moment though it did sound like fun. Perhaps, someday I will go.

July 9, 2024, Tuesday night, 7:06pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Victorville, California,USA. Woke up this morning to work out and realized I forgot to pack my gym clothes. I wasn’t feeling very well so I just went back to bed and slept until 7:30am. After that I spent the day in the office then found a sporting goods store nearby to get shoes, socks and shorts. I spent a hundred dollars just because I couldn’t stand the thought of missing one more workout. That is alright, it could have been more expensive and I needed another pair of shorts and shoes anyway.

July 8, 2024, Monday evening, 6:47pm, pacific standard time, Hilton Garden Inn, Victorville,California,USA. Drove up to Victorville today to deal with a HR issue. I will stay through tomorrow and go back on Wednesday. My daughter’s mom’s mom is still having issues and the family is working through options which at this point consist of in-home care or a move to assisted living. Neither are ideal, but most likely necessary. On a side note I am staying in the same hotel room I stayed in on my birthday back in February. I have fond memories of my friend coming to visit me that day. We fell out of touch a short time later and haven’t reconnected. I know it is best we stay apart but on many levels I still miss her.

July 7, 2024, Sunday night, 8:06pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point,California,USA. Got back from Lompoc just before noon today. I helped unpack the car then headed on to Dana Point. I spent the afternoon at home, doing laundry and chatting with friends. My daughter’s mom’s mom is having issues with her health and there are questions about long term care. I am trying to offer advice and be objective. Some tough decisions with significant financial ramifications lie ahead. I see this all the time with patients and their families at work but, it is different when it hits this close to home.