March 29, 2024, Friday night, 7:55pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California,USA. Last day before vacation. Tomorrow my daughter, her dog and I leave for Wyoming to visit my mom. We are trying to get an early start because it is a long drive and the forecast mentions rain. I am not sure we will be out the door on time for a number of reason. My daughter hasn’t packed and there is a lot of stuff left to load into the car. But it really doesn’t matter. We are making the trip to have fun. If we get out late and need to stay over somewhere then so be it. I am not going to ruin this weekend by stressing over something so trivial.

March 28, 2024, Thursday evening, 6:22pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California,USA. This evening my daughter’s mom mentioned an old friend texted her today. She is the mother of my daughter’s recent best friend. Sadly, they have grown apart since starting high school at different locations. Because of their friendship we would spend a lot of time together as families, including Easter picnics the past two years. This Sunday we will all be out of town and the weather is forecasted to be stormy so, no picnic this go round. Despite the uncontrollable circumstances I feel a little sad. I enjoyed the time we spent with them and looked forward to the picnics. Perhaps next year we can rejoin the celebration and honor tradition once again.

March 27, 2024, Wednesday night, 6:49pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California,9. Meeting, meetings and more meetings. That was the theme of the day. First, I was awoken early by a triage call for our San Diego branch. It was just early enough to disrupt my sleep but too late to go back to bed. Then I got ready for work and took my daughter to school. I did have a moment of appreciation about being a part of the collective workday when I passed a county bus. Funny how valuable those experiences are. I kept saying it was better than found money. After dropping my daughter off at 8:30am I drove to the office park in Irvine for my 9am call. Then I drove to Corona while on a 10am call. Had my eleven am call in a medical building parking lot. Did a 12pm lunch with a potential doctor candidate. Attended my 1pm call on the road back to Orange County. Sat at Starbucks for two hours and answered emails. Got on a meeting at 3:20pm then picked my daughter up at five. I am exhausted. I don’t want to see one more email or get on another meeting for a long time. Or at least until tomorrow.

March 26, 2024, Tuesday night, 7:18pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point,California,USA. I Worked from home today. The first half of the day I didn’t have any meetings. All the free time made me anxious. Things did pick up in the afternoon after our weekly area call but there are a lot of frayed nerves among the branch directors. I am not sure what is going on. It seems the whole world is on edge right now. Everyone is grouchy and angry. I joked with one of the directors about Mars the “angry” planet being close to earth. I don’t know astrology but it sounded about right. At least she laughed and reminded me Mars is also the place you go to get candy bars. That made me smile. I hadn’t heard that rhyme in ages.

March 25, 2024, Monday night, apartment in Dana Point,California,USA. Today was the first day I really thought about if I want this job to be my legacy. I have enjoyed it but I am grinding through frustration to get a paycheck. There has to be something more to life. The problem is I can’t figure out what. I look back on my time in Phoenix and I appreciate getting through 15 months of work, the subsequent 3 months looking for a new gig and finally the seven months working for this company while still having my place in Chandler. It is a tidy narrative I reflect on fondly. But if I never stop grinding I can never reflect. And if I do stop grinding what is the consequence? Gearing back up and doing it again for a different brand? I am dammed either way. Sometimes the best I can hope for is deeper clarity somewhere down the line. Either because it was forced upon me or it was there all along and I just needed the right mindset to see it.

March 23-24, Saturday, Sunday, 7:33pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Last night I went with a couple of friends to see a Depeche Mode cover band in Long Beach at a venue called the Gaslamp. I really enjoyed the music and company. Today I was supposed to go to the new Ghostbusters movie with my daughter but she went with her boyfriend instead. I told my friend about it and she offered to go with me. We met at the Irvine Spectrum and saw the movie. Then afterward we went to Sprinkles cupcakes and shared a couple treats. On my way home I grabbed dinner for my daughter and dropped it off. Now I am watching the last games of the opening weekend of the basketball tournament. I am going to stay local for work this week so my stress level is lower than usual.

March 22, 2024, Friday night, 6:31pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Drove back from Bakersfield this morning and worked all afternoon save for taking my daughter to get a ramen bowl. The place we usually go permanently closed so we had to find another close by. Now I am at my apartment watching basketball and unwinding. I can safely say I am sick of work and don’t want to think about it for the next two days. My daughter and her mom are going dress shopping tomorrow. That gives me a chance to complete home improvement tasks and relax. I am going to enjoy some quiet time this weekend.

March 21, 2024, Thursday evening, 6:44pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Bakersfield, California, USA. Today was good. A lot of meetings and stress in the morning but by three o’clock I was done with work and able to relax. I went out at 4pm to buy groceries and pick up dinner. Then I came back to the hotel and watched basketball all evening. It has been a nice day in Bakersfield. I appreciate putting in a full day of work and now getting to enjoy being away from home and doing something I like while the company pays for it.

March 20, 2024, Wednesday night, 7:04pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Bakersfield, California,USA. I had my monthly operating review this morning. Afterwards, I drove to Visalia to visit that branch. After finishing meetings this afternoon I drove back to Bakersfield and grabbed subway for dinner. Now I am watching college basketball. I filled out my brackets this morning. Hopefully they look good! I also had my executive coaching session today. I am starting to see the benefit. The first couple times I was guarded and not interested in opening up. But the last two weeks have been stressful. It was nice to have someone listen to my experience and offer support. I am glad I have the opportunity to work with her.

March 19, 2024, Tuesday night, 6:20pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. Finished dinner and now I am watching the First Four games of the NCAA tournament. Which reminds me, I need to fill out my basketball brackets before Thursday morning. I got up early today and finished my financial review slides for work. I skipped working out to make sure I had them just right. That reduced my anxiety significantly. Tomorrow I will take a couple calls at the hotel then go visit the Visalia branch tomorrow.