Category: Entrepreneur

Overcoming the fallout

As an adult, I never had debt (except for car and house payments) until the summer 2017. At that point, with a significant amount of money saved up, I quit my corporate job and started a business from home. At first, the decision was exhilarating; I woke up every morning driven by purpose and peered into a future with endless possibility. There was no doubt in my mind; financial independence and peaceful days spent at the beach were just around the corner. But, before long, revenue stagnated and expenses increased. By the end of year one all my cash had run out. To stay afloat I dipped into long held CD’s and mutual funds; not just to support the business, but to cover basic household expenses, like rent and groceries. When that money was gone I took a chunk out of retirement before resorting to unsecured loans and credit card debt. By the time I went back to work I was broke with no savings and over $75,000 in debt. For the past year and a half I have worked to bring that sum under control. There is still a large amount to be paid back but, I am proud to say, it is considerably smaller, and I can see the path out. Ironically, the lesson learned was not achieving financial acumen by growing a successful business but rather, learning how to deal with money by overcoming the fallout of a failed one.

Doing what needs to be done

5:30am*, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Saturday morning, March 26, 2022. (This is the first time I am using the scheduled post option. Actual writing time is 6:30pm, Friday, March 25, 2022. If all goes well I should be on the road to Orange County by 5:30am tomorrow morning. But I wanted to schedule this post because I believe consistently delivering at a regular time, first thing in the morning, is beneficial to you, the reader. It sets clear expectations of when you will see a post from me and that creates more of a mutually beneficial connection between us. Or so I hope. Either way, you can definitely tell I went to sales training this week.) The sales manager came to my office yesterday afternoon to discuss our second quarter marketing plan. I blocked out one hour for the session, but it ended up lasting four. I didn’t want to spend that much time working on marketing but, there isn’t much choice anymore; revenue is down and financials must improve. So many people above and below us depend on this site to be successful. We can’t let them down. Personally, this represents a completely new level of understanding; prior to this, the only person I ever cared about was me. As a result, I repeatedly struggled as a leader, a husband and a parent. I never truly embraced any role with heightened responsibility because I was scared of failure. I shied away from commitment to avoid being rejected. I lived a life of constant upheaval, skipping out on dedication because of fear. Well, I am not scared any more. I accept the situation and will do what needs to be done to succeed.

Learning a hard lesson

7:04am, apartment in Dana Point, California, Sunday morning, March 20, 2022. The first talk of job cuts happened Friday afternoon. I called my supervisor regarding another matter but she brought up the hard truth instead. I understand. Things are not going well and there isn’t a quick fix on the horizon. The situation is beyond frustrating for everyone involved. I personally feel incapacitated, like watching a slow motion disaster unfold; I can see the horror happening, but am helpless to stop it. In the past, I focused on what that meant to me; loss of direct income, family instability, bruising of personal pride. But today is different. Today I feel I let down those that depend on the businesses success to care for their families and sustain households. It is a crushing weight to bear and I feel every ounce of it. I am learning a hard lesson; there is no nobility in failure. Merely trying is not enough. I need to get better, improve my skills, or I am of no value to anyone else.

Success?

7:25am Sunday morning. On my walk I felt anxious. The reason I felt that way is because I have had so many opportunities to succeed; jobs, businesses, writing. Yet I have not found sustainable results. The question I ask is; am I a failure? I suppose it depends on what I mean by “success.” If I am measuring it by possessions and numbers in my bank account then the answer is “yes.”But beyond those measures do I really feel I failed? Perhaps I have unrealistic expectations. The road to success is not easy, nor constant. I lived life the way I wanted to live it. Honoring the goals I deemed important. Sure, not everything has gone smooth, I have had challenges. But I am not going to change, I can’t change. I don’t want to change. This is who I am and who I will be until the bitter end. (That made me think of a song) “if you need a shoulder, or if you need a friend. I’ll be here standing, until the bitter end..” Rocket Queen by Guns and Roses-/. What I am saying is I like who I am. Some results suck. Like changing jobs every year,being away from my daughter, being in debt, not communicating with the WIL. But those are consequences of life lived. I am still moving forward. I will reach for new goals while trying to get back to those I love, connect with those I lost and honoring commitments I already made.

Embarrassing

8:07am I started going through posts to categorize them and add tags. I also added an archive that makes it easier to search by month. That led me to discover this post from over two years ago. It was the first post of this blog. My initial instinct was to delete it. I am embarrassed. Back in the summer of 2017 I quit my job to try and be an entrepreneur. I wrote a couple of books (pamphlets really) about quitting work and starting your own business. Since I was trying to be an entrepreneur the material fit where I was at. I will have to make a category called “embarrassing.” I am sure there are others I would rather not share.

Shift

1:29am I use positive language. Shift focus. True voice. Side note: staying in true voice means not talking in future tense “I need to do…” or “I have to change…” true voice also means not getting stuck in observations. “I always…” or “when ________ happens I ______.” There is a rough patch at work. Frustration with my teams performance. I am falling into familiar feelings. I am saying familiar things. And I am doing exactly what I said not too! (Future change and observation) I am shifting now…I am the captain. I am the coach. I hold people accountable. I improve performance. I raise expectations. I am a leader. I win.

No promises

When I coach people I do everything in my power to give them the opportunity to experience to achieve their objective. I make no promises or guarantees. Failure is likely. It is a high risk situation. Only if people are willing to pay, to sacrifice, to risk can they possible grow. You have to be willing to do everything in your power to achieve your objective no matter how long it takes.