9:02am Dana point, Sunday. Consistency is the key to any relationship. Children, family, spouse, audience. To have a relationship requires consistency. Is it possible to improve consistency?
Category: Happy
Halloween fun
11:23am Saturday. We walked in the door at 3am this morning. Last night was epic. First the party started at 6pm. With dinner, heavy traffic, finding a car space and meeting up with other guests we didn’t enter the park until 9pm. By then it was packed with people. Waits for rides topped two and a half hours. At midnight we walked one of the Halloween attractions. After that we were tired. It was a rush to get everyone home before falling asleep. My daughter is still asleep. I woke up to take the dog out and have been watching football.
Friday
8:09am Friday, Dana Point. Today is the day my daughter and I are going to the amusement park for Halloween. She is going with friends, I as a chaperone of sorts. I look forward to it. October is the best month of the year; it has fall weather, Halloween and leads directly into two more months of holidays.
Vacation
6:14am Thursday. Soon after dinner last night I fell asleep on the couch at my wife’s house. It was a deep, luxurious slumber filled with peacefully confusing images and happy childhood memories. The kind of sleep I rarely achieve during the hustle of life in Arizona. It happened right before evening. There were still some streaks of light in the sky but we had pulled the blinds and turned on a lamp or two. Once the house was settled my daughter began watching a Halloween movie. I don’t remember the plot but it had something to do with a secret society of teenagers battling an evil carnival. Shortly after it started I became extremely tired. The sounds of a full house, the smell of chicken soup emanating from the kitchen mingled in my brain and put me at ease. My eyelids grew heavy and I curled up on the side of the couch. Before long I was snoring softly. My daughter was surprised. She implored me to wake up, stressing it was barely eight o’clock. But I couldn’t be roused. The release of stress starting vacation and the sense of being home had emptied me out. I stayed there on the couch all night. Sleeping my peaceful sleep, dreaming my quiet dreams until the dog whined to be let out ten hours later.
Palm desert
9:58am palm desert. Taking some time off from work. At palm desert on a Wednesday. Excited to see my daughter and pick her up from school.
Relief
6:12am Wednesday morning. And with it a wave of relief washed over me. Big heaving sighs racked my body and tears covered my cheeks. The longed for peace finally arrived. All I needed to do was let go.
Tuesday morning
6am Tuesday morning. Something inside me yearns to be known, to be understood rather than entertained. The time has come to set aside distractions, chase fleeting feelings of joy or vainly search for peace. For life to have purpose I must produce something valuable to others.
Monday morning, Labor Day
8:27am Monday morning, Labor Day, Dana Point. The path was familiar. I had walked it with my mom everyday the four months she lived with me. I appreciated that time. Though I was frustrated with work I had mornings free to walk along the bluff. We head north, then east until we got to the park. Then we circled back to the apartment. The whole trip last half an hour. I would have coffee then get ready for work.
Saturday morning
8:31am Saturday morning. Palm desert. As I drove my mind recalled moments when I felt at peace, times in my life I felt unburdened by expectation or remorse. It was then I felt most childlike, though I was far from innocent and very much an adult. I longed to retrace my steps and find that experience again; a moment when the world was filled with wonder, I was assured my existence held purpose and in my heart I was truly content.
Monday morning
5:42am Monday morning. When I woke up I felt refreshed. My rest had been good. Then I remembered it was Monday and felt dejected. I rolled over, turned on the light and laid still on my back for a moment. I didn’t feel the desire to get up. I thought about Saturday mornings, long car trips and peaceful walks. Anything to distract me from the looming day. For as long as I could remember I thought it my mission to avoid mornings like these. But I have come to realize all I can really hope is to endure.