Category: Relationships

Sunday morning activities

7:28am, apartment in Dana Point, California, Sunday morning, February 13, 2022. Adverse symptoms from the cold I caught two weeks ago are still present, which is frustrating. Having a stuffy nose and persistent headache makes enjoying activities difficult. I can take cold medicine but too much of it makes me tired and slows me down. This morning the dog and I did our usual walk followed by a trip to the store to buy Valentine’s Day treats for everyone. I will leave for Arizona around ten and get in by 5:30pm. This week is busy at work with payroll tomorrow morning followed by a 3 day mock survey. Thursday night I am leaving work early to come back to Dana Point. The following week I fly in Wednesday morning for an interview with the Southern California hospice company. Unless something drastic changes my mind I will take that job and move back to Orange County around the end of March, beginning of April.

Be in good health

4:44pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Tuesday afternoon, February 1, 2022. Stayed home one more day. Going into the office was a possibility but there was a staff meeting, not the time to go in and cough everywhere. Another day of rest has been beneficial. I am feeling better. My daughter called a little while ago, she had a good day at school. Hearing her voice when she is happy is therapeutic. Now the goal is to be in good health to travel this weekend. Going two weeks without seeing my daughter would be sad.

Lease options

4:21pm, office, Phoenix, Arizona, Wednesday afternoon, January 26, 2022. I found out this afternoon it is possible to sign any length lease for the apartment. That reduces my stress. I can’t say I want to stay in Arizona but I am not ready to move. Five months would take me to September and the beginning of high school for my daughter.

Letting go of the WIL

1:21pm, in a class at the office, Phoenix, Arizona, Monday afternoon, January 24, 2022. The past week was monumental. I never thought I would say this but; I have let go of the WIL. The woman who I loved for over a decade, who I share the most sacred parts of me and the relationship that defined me as a person is over in my mind. Working through the remnants of our relationship consumed me. Now it is complete. I am not sad, I am not hurt, just relieved. I can move forward and so can she.

Stopping in Blythe

2:10pm Pacific, grocery store parking lot, Blythe, California , Sunday afternoon, January 23, 2022. Stopped to take a rest for a moment in Blythe before continuing on to Arizona. Friday I came out through San Diego. It wasn’t a bad route but not worth the extra time. The visit to see family was fun. My daughter showed me some new games and videos while I had two good walks with the dog. Last night I drank a couple of beers and watched the football game.

My daughters mother

7:28am, PST, apartment in Dana Point, CA. Saturday day morning, January 22, 2022. A year ago the woman I married stopped referring to me as her husband. She began introducing me as our daughters dad. I didn’t think much of it and still reflexively called her my wife. However this past week we had a discussion about future plans. She made it clear we will never be together in that capacity ever again. I am not shocked or offended, we have been strictly platonic for well over a decade and I have no desire to revisit that status. But I did make the decision to follow suit. We are legally married but we aren’t husband and wife any more. She is now my friend and simply the woman I know as my daughters mother.

Relatives visit and packing

9:50am, in my office, Phoenix, Arizona, Tuesday morning, January 4, 2022. Yesterday my relatives stopped in Chandler to visit. We ate at the Mexican restaurant across the street from my apartment then sat and talked for a while. It was good to see them but I am exhausted. I need down time away from people and work. All morning I have struggled with a feeling of anxiety. Nothing specific is bothering me, yet I can’t relax. The last two days I have been going through things and packing, both at the office and at the apartment. Maybe I sense something subconsciously, or maybe it is just normal behavior at the start of a new year.

Taking the day off

6:15am, in my apartment living room in Chandler, Arizona, sitting on the couch, watching the weather, Thursday morning, December 30, 2021. The morning feels cozy. My wife and daughter are sleeping, the dog is on the couch next to me and we are watching the weather. Yesterday I told the regional VP my family was in town. She told me to relax and suggested I spend time with them. I appreciated that. She makes me feel valued. I want to work hard for my own success but to also to repay the support she gives me. We do not have definitive plans for the day, but we did reserve the apartment complex theater tonight. We are going to buy snacks and watch a movie together.