8:02am Thursday. Today was the day the WIL and I considered our anniversary. It is the second year in a row we haven’t talked on it. A lot of mixed emotions
Category: Relationships
Consistency
9:02am Dana point, Sunday. Consistency is the key to any relationship. Children, family, spouse, audience. To have a relationship requires consistency. Is it possible to improve consistency?
Vacation
6:14am Thursday. Soon after dinner last night I fell asleep on the couch at my wife’s house. It was a deep, luxurious slumber filled with peacefully confusing images and happy childhood memories. The kind of sleep I rarely achieve during the hustle of life in Arizona. It happened right before evening. There were still some streaks of light in the sky but we had pulled the blinds and turned on a lamp or two. Once the house was settled my daughter began watching a Halloween movie. I don’t remember the plot but it had something to do with a secret society of teenagers battling an evil carnival. Shortly after it started I became extremely tired. The sounds of a full house, the smell of chicken soup emanating from the kitchen mingled in my brain and put me at ease. My eyelids grew heavy and I curled up on the side of the couch. Before long I was snoring softly. My daughter was surprised. She implored me to wake up, stressing it was barely eight o’clock. But I couldn’t be roused. The release of stress starting vacation and the sense of being home had emptied me out. I stayed there on the couch all night. Sleeping my peaceful sleep, dreaming my quiet dreams until the dog whined to be let out ten hours later.
New boss
6:49am Wednesday. The new bosses are coming to the office today. They will arrive at 10 and leave by noon. It is an informal meeting before the acquisition closes next month. I don’t have many expectations. They didn’t choose me and I didn’t choose them. These relationships seldom work out. I will keep an open mind.
While laying in bed I thought about the importance of staying in the present. When I focus on the moment at hand I am happy. If I plan too far ahead or spend too much time thinking about the past I get sad. I don’t like being sad. I am taking time off next week to spend time in California with my daughter. That is as far as I will look ahead. Nothing else is guaranteed.
I dreamt about the WIL last night. I was an usher at a church. She walked in with her husband. Her and I didn’t talk but her husband stayed behind. He got close to me and tried to intimidate me. I kept it casual and asked how the three boys were doing. He told me the one was in the hospital. I was alarmed and asked for more details but now I can’t recall what he said. I am not sure what to make of the dream.
Sunday Dana point
7:59am Sunday, Dana point. There are two parts of me. When I am alone my mind is in Utah. I reminisce about being young, vital, in love and loved. When I am present I am in Orange County. I am a dad. I am older wiser.
The WIL
2:40am Friday morning. I had a dream about the WIL. It was sweet and beautiful. We were at a family reunion. My dad was there. The WIL and I reunited and spent our time talking, kissing, holding hands. When I woke up I could feel the magnet in my chest that screams only for her pulling strong. For years (and most of these posts) I focused on what she is to me. I forgot that I am something to her.
Saturday morning
9:25am Saturday morning. Just after eating breakfast I started returning messages from last night, which didn’t take long because it was the weekend. Saturday was the first real day of rest i could recall having in a long while. I had made plans to meet up with a friend that afternoon. She texted to say her schedule had changed, and that she would probably meet me later, or possibly not at all. I didn’t mind, she wasn’t that close of a friend.
Picture
8:46am Monday. I saw a recent picture of the WIL last night. I haven’t seen her in person in almost two years. At first I was worried I would feel sad. But that wasn’t the case at all. Seeing her smile filled me with peace. I like to think she is happy. Even though we can no longer see each other all I want in the world is to know she is alright.
Friday morning
5:46am Friday morning. My wife called yesterday. She wanted to let me know our daughter had been hit in the head by a falling bowl. Though no cuts or bumps the doctor suggested “taking it easy” for a couple days. That meant they would not be traveling over the weekend. My wife wanted to know if I would like to come home. I said “yes.”
Saturday afternoon
4:53pm Saturday afternoon, Dana Point. Upon arriving in Orange County I stopped to grab my mail from the post office. Then I continued to my wife and daughters house. My daughter was excited to play a new game, my wife was finishing work before she left to run errands. I took the dog for a walk around the complex then returned to eat lunch. When I finished I felt tired, so I laid on the couch and took a nap.