October 9, 2024, Wednesday (written Thursday morning, 6:48am, pacific standard time), residence inn, room 221, La Mirada, California,USA, came north to visit a friend last night and used points for a hotel stay rather than driving back to Dana Point. I am glad I did it. It was nice not to have to drive back late. It was also nice to get outbid the house and not be alone another night. My life is so subdued right now. I have no routine and my phone barely rings. I used to get calls, texts, emails and notifications 24 hours a day. Now there is silence. I don’t miss my old life but I would like more structure.

October 8, 2024, Tuesday afternoon, 4:41pm, pacific standard time, parking lot Monarch Bay Plaza, Dana Point, California, USA. Drove to city of Orange today and renewed my BLS certification. Afterwards, I came home and updated my Chaplain resume. Originally I envisioned working PRN for a small hospice company. I am rethinking my strategy. I have gone so far professionally in hospice. It is hard to shift gears so drastically and still leave the door open for a return to Executive Leadership. Perhaps I am better off looking at Chaplain work in a different healthcare setting, one that would give me a chance to start fresh while leaving the door open for future opportunities.

October 6,7, 2024, Sunday, Monday morning 9:24am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Yesterday was a good day. Walked and worked out, took my daughter to get a bagel, washed the work car (I still have it and the gas card still works) then came home and sipped whiskey while watching football and listening to the dodgers/Padres game. This morning I felt better than I probably deserved. I will remember that when I complain about a hangover from a couple drinks. I am not sure what to do today. I got the link to complete my chaplain endorsement. I looked for jobs online and there is a potential one that looks like a decent fit. I could also blow everything off and just go for a long drive. This will be the last week of freedom before I have to buckle down and get serious. Whatever I choose I am excited to see what the future holds. want to do something different and rise to the best of my abilities.

October 5, 2024, Saturday evening, 5:58pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA. Spent the day with my daughter. Her mom went to Valencia to visit family. Now I am sitting on the couch with the dog, watching Dark Winds on Netflix. I am giving serious consideration to applying for marketing jobs. They are plentiful and quick to hire. They are also difficult and quick to fire. But a marketing job would be easier to get than a Chaplain job and produce more income. I don’t want to be out of work three months and incur debt. Best to be proactive and stay busy.

October 4, 2034, Friday night, 10:24pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I choose to be optimistic and see the current situation as an opportunity for growth. I can find a new job with better pay, benefits and stability. I can upgrade my car and living conditions. The fact is I have been thrust into a new reality through no fault of my own. It is a high risk endeavor with three possible outcomes; grow, replace or step back. 2025 is going to be more interesting than anticipated. I tried to work on my chaplain stuff today but the link for my endorsement application expired. I reached out to get it reset but haven’t heard back.

October 3, 2024, Thursday afternoon, 3:52pm, pacific standard time, parking lot of office building off Town Center Drive in Laguna Niguel, California,USA. I came back to town around 10am this morning. My daughter stayed home from school and wanted breakfast so I grabbed something and drove up to see her. After that I worked a little on a project from the past and spent time with a friend visiting from Beaumont . While I am off work I am leaning into being the chaplain again and writing. Not sure where it will take me but at this point in my life I better do what I can while I can. The project I am working on is called Death Bed Religion; A spiritual treatise on what really matters when the chips are down. I have had various versions of it for well over ten years. If nothing else comes from this time I will have at least created something to be proud of.

October 2, 2024, Wednesday evening, 5:15pm, pacific standard time, hotel in San Diego, California,USA. Worked out at the hotel gym this morning then drove home to sign my separation agreement. I also completed the rebate requst for my contacts and was able to remember the password for my personal computer. Now I feel low energy. I am taking it easy, watching playoff baseball and reading.

October 1, 2024, Tuesday afternoon, 4:42pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Carlsbad, California, USA. I drove home this morning and did a little work and went grocery shopping. Originally I was going to stay home but figured I will have plenty of time in Dana Point the next couple weeks. This room is only available tonight and tomorrow. So I came back down.

September 30, 2024, Monday afternoon, 4:49pm, pacific standard time, Home2Suites, Carlsbad, California, USA, room 104. Today started as usual, went for the Blue Lantern walk, worked out, took the dog for the full park wander about and then took my daughter to school and the dog to the vet. It was a stressful morning, so much happening at work; office closures, audits due, end of the quarter. Then at 11:30am, just as I was packing to travel to San Diego my boss called. My position was eliminated. I know longer work for the company. Just like that, two years and one and a half months done. I am still processing what happened. I have been laid off before. With those instances I had a slight idea it was happening. This was completely unexpected. I am cycling through the stages of loss; mostly Disbelief and anger. I need to decompress and regroup. The hotel in Carlsbad was already paid for so I came down for the night. Tomorrow I will plan next steps. Thankfully they gave me a generous severance so I have some time to be mindful of my next step.

September 29, 2024, Sunday morning, 8:22am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Yesterday on my walk I came to a cul de sac on Chula Vista street. Chula Vista dead ends on both the north and south sides, with gated community entrances at each end. The north cul de sac is up at the top of a hill and at this time of year, is shrouded in fog most early mornings. Yesterday, as I approached the north cul de sac gate it began to open, even though there were no cars entering or exiting the area. “Strange,” I thought, “I have never seen the gate do that before.” I thought it was a little eerie but not too unusual. “Someone must have pushed a button and activated it. No big deal,” I said to myself. I continued on my walk. The path I take brings me down Selva road, back up La Plata and reconnects with Chula Vista on the other end. To get my steps in I go back up Chula Vista all the way back to the north gate. As I approached the entrance the gate opened again, even though I was the only person in the area. “It must be malfunctioning,” I hypothesized. Determined to find the truth I stopped walking, watched the gate fully open, then close. “Surely it will open again,” I said to myself, “a sensor must be broken. It has probably been opening and closing constantly and I just happen to see it when I am there.” However, as the gate closed it remained closed and never opened again. I was a little spooked and even told my daughter about it, half -jokingly as a early Halloween ghost story. Yet, this morning, something occurred that changed my mind. As I walked the same path. The gate did not open either time I came to the top of the cul de sac. I half forgot it happened and wrote the whole experience off as no big deal. Yet, as I was finishing up my walk down the hill I saw something interesting. Where Street of the Blue Lantern crosses Pacific Coast Highway, I glanced over at a construction zone. It took me a moment to realize what I was seeing. That wasn’t there yesterday,” I said silently in my mind, “I definitely would have noticed that!” There, on a piece of cardboard taped to a temporary fence was a hand written sign that read, “Mike I am up on Chula Vista.” I don’t know what it all means. The mystery remains. Now I am intrigued. Maybe there truly is more to the story.