June 15, 2024, Saturday night, 10;32pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Got up early, did the Blue Lantern walk, grabbed coffee at Dunkin, then worked out at Planet Fitness. Around 10am I drove to Walgreens in Aliso Viejo to pick up photo prints I ordered online. Just after noon my daughter and I met friends at a bowling alley in Irvine. After that a friend drove to Dana Point from riverside county to hang out with me. We had dinner, walked to the beach and watched tv at the apartment before she left for home.

June 14, 2024, Friday night, 7:02pm, pacific standard time, apartment complex parking lot, Dana Point, California, USA. Today was just a terrible day at work. It started yesterday afternoon with a bad idea by one of the branch directors and now has snowballed into a big kerfuffle with hurt feelings and overreactions. Some days I just want to scream. This afternoon was good though. My daughter, her mom and a couple friends wanted to see the new Inside Out movie in Irvine at 3pm. I joined them and went to dinner afterwards. Even though work continued to blow up it was nice to have a moment to relax.

June 13, 2024, Thursday morning, 6:39am, pacific standard time, hotel in San Bernardino, California,USA. I am still happy I found this hotel. It has one of the best hotel gyms I have ever seen. It isn’t perfect, the cleaning wipes were empty, I couldn’t find the remote for the big tv and it had drinking fountains rather than a filtered water system. But size wise it was far superior than most. There are two pull up bars and a free weight barbell bench press . I have not seen that in a hotel gym before. I am drinking coffee watching the weather and doing NYT puzzles. I will head back to Orange County later this morning.

June 12, 2024, Wednesday night, 6:14pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in San Bernardino, California,USA. Woke up in Victorville, went to the office there for a little while, headed to San Bernardino and visited that office. I was done by 1:30pm do I drove out to Palm Desert, got gas and provisions then turned around. I am staying in a new hotel. It is newer and a lot nicer. Glad I made the switch. Now I am watching the basketball finals and eating BJ’s pizza. Reminds me of fond memories nine years ago in Palm Desert. Ta Wednesday night, watching the finals, eating dominos pizza. I guess I know what I like.

June 10,11, 2024, Monday/Tuesday morning 9:23am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point,California,USA. Yesterday was a usual stressful acclimation back to work. so much going on with resignations, holiday coverage, HR issues. I am half way through the commitment to work four years at this job. The joy has gone out. I like a lot of things but now I am just counting days. Back in high school, college. seminary, and my first job I spent four years at a position/school pretty regularly. However, by the start of the third year I would get antsy. I guess not much had changed.

June 8,9, 2024, Saturday/Sunday night, 6:22pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Yesterday was my daughter’s moms birthday. I got her cards and a balloon from pavilions, some cash from the bank and a couple little gifts from Denault’s hardware store. In the afternoon we went and saw The Fall Guy movie at Cineopolis luxury theater. I did a survey afterwards and got a $15 gift card to the theater. In the evening I stayed home and had a friend come over for a while. This morning I thought about what I would do if I could do anything with my time and not have to work. My answer was write these blog posts for $1000 each. That way I would have money and do something that comes naturally. I know it is absurd but it did lessen Sunday anxiety so it was fun to imagine.

June 7, 2024, Friday night, 10:44pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point,California,USA. Full work day. Lots of meetings. Which is annoying on Friday. Preliminary financials came out today. Our area did pretty good. This afternoon I picked my daughter up from school. She had a party in the afternoon so wasn’t hungry. I ended up ordering beer, salad and pizza for dinner from 3 different places. My daughter stayed in her room and her mom went to dinner in Trabuco Canyon. I hung out with the dog and watched a show called Tires on Netflix.

June 6, 2024, Thursday night, 8:46pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I have been thinking about Utah a lot lately. Fond memories of a simpler time. Or at least it seemed simpler. Regardless, it makes me happy to remember certain things. Like Thursday nights. I used to love Thursday’s in utah. It was the precursor to the weekend. Fridays were easy work days back then, practically a day off with little challenge. So Thursday’s were carefree and happy. Anything could happen Thursday night. I would grab beer and a burger on my way home and watch sports until it was time for bed. Now Fridays are just another day. Thursday’s just another night.

June 5, 2024, Wednesday morning, 6:53am, pacific standard time, hotel room in Bakersfield, California,USA. Looking back at old posts from two years ago I mentioned taking a lower paying job and supplementing my income with PRN chaplain work. The full-time job never materialized so the plan was abandoned. But, I wonder where I would be had it worked out? Would I be happy? or at least happier? This job has been a blessing and i have enjoyed it in many ways. But it is also a grind that is wearing me out. I want to work two more years and make it to my daughters high school graduation. After that I would like to explore other opportunities, maybe find a novel approach like I considered two years ago.

June 4, 2024, Tuesday morning, 7:07am, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California,USA. Today I am remembering my dad, it is his birthday. He would be 83 this year. I am also thinking of mom. Today was their wedding anniversary. There are also thoughts of 1996. That year I was 24, a seminarian, and just starting my required unit of Clinical Pastoral Education at St. Mark’s Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah. But mostly I am remembering 2003. My first summer as a Hospice Chaplain in Ogden, Utah. This morning has been special. I have been able to completely immerse myself remembering that time. I recall how everything felt new, yet familiar. There was so much promise of the future. I was fixated on getting to the one year anniversary of moving to Valencia, California. I wanted the college football season to start so I could grab a coffee and cinnamon roll from Maverik and drive to Wendover, Nevada to bet on games. That summer it was just me and my dog, Tucker, living in Layton, working during the week then driving to Wyoming to spend the weekend with family. I hope for the remainder of this summer I can be lost in that memory. I am exhausted from focusing on current circumstances. I need a fresh perspective that can only come from being lost in the past.