September 14, 2023, Thursday evening, 6:41pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Yesterday was my daughters dogs 4th birthday. In all the running around, picking my daughter up from school then going to the Halloween store we forgot to celebrate. Hard to believe she is that old already. Time goes fast. I worked from home today. It was nice being local. Picked my daughter up early from school. Some kind of drama took place but she didn’t say what and I didn’t press. Tomorrow her and her mom go to universal studios with friends. I am going to stay the night in Aliso Viejo and dog sit. Sounds like all of us will have a good time.

September 13, 2023, Wednesday night, 9:03pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. My counterpart, the person who hired me and has been with the company 14 years, announced her resignation today. Talking with her afterwards the main reason was travel. She doesn’t want to be on the road five days a week any more. I don’t blame her. It has been nice this week, staying close to home (San Diego), seeing my daughter (I picked her up from school this afternoon and we drove to the Spirit Halloween store in Huntington Beach this evening) and having personal time to workout and run errands. I enjoy the job for the most part and don’t mind the travel. Eventually the lifestyle will catch up with me and I will make a change. Until then it is business as usual. Keep plugging away and do the best I can.

September 12, 2023, Tuesday evening, 9:19pm, pacific standard time, hotel in San Diego, California,USA. Came to San Diego for a conference. Staying one night, then heading back to Orange County. Had dinner at Coasterra, which has Great view of downtown San Diego. Today is one of the rare days I feel relaxed. It is nice to not be in Bakersfield for a week. I am going to enjoy the rest of my time in Southern California and appreciate being close to home.

September 11, 2023, Monday night, 10:58pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I keep waking up at night realizing I didn’t write a post for the day. At least I am catching it in time. Better late than never. Mondays are difficult for me. I get emotionally exhausted contorting into the persona of a leader this job requires. At this point the stress isn’t worth the payoff. I can’t imagine working another 6 months at this job, let alone 6 years. Failing to sustain consistent employment is far more financially detrimental than diminished pay. I need to find more balance and steadiness. Side note; I have an issue with my left lower eyelid, it has been swollen the last couple of days. It isn’t so noticeable as it annoying. I wonder if it is related to the sneezing fits I keep having? Up until today I blamed allergens in the hotels but, I am not at a hotel tonight. Hopefully it is nothing.

September 10, 2023, Sunday night (Monday morning) 12:02am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Went and saw the Nun 2 movie with my daughter in Irvine. I thought it was pretty scary. She said it was alright. Afterward, we picked her mom up at the auto repair shop then drove to Dana Point so they could borrow the other car. Luckily, it started after sitting unused for three weeks.

September 8-9, 2023, Friday and Saturday, 4:34pm, pacific standard time, Saturday afternoon, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. My daughter stayed the night with her friends family at the Great Wolf Lodge, in Garden Grove. I dropped her off shortly after 5pm yesterday and came back to Dana Point. I haven’t been to Aliso Viejo all day. It is times like this that make me realize how much life revolves around spending time with my daughter. We are planning to go a movie tomorrow but I am more aware everyday that once she can drive on her own life will change drastically for all of us. I miss her right now. And I miss the dog as well. But after all was said and done it was nice to have a day to myself. I slept in and went to the gym this afternoon. Now I am reading a graphic novel version of my favorite book, The Stranger by Albert Camus.

September 7, 2023, Thursday night, 7:09pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Bakersfield, California, USA. Had a group call with the Palm Desert office today. Lots of raw emotion and heartache. Much of the team is frustrated by an unclear vision from the outgoing leader. Nobody did anything wrong, he was/is trying to lead. Yet his lack of experience guiding a team shows through. Luckily, the situation isn’t irreparable. Yet it is startling to see the transformation. Three months ago that team was pulling together and conquering the world. Now they are angry, hurt and demoralized. Next week I am in San Diego Tuesday and Wednesday. I will make a trip to the desert to meet with the team on Thursday and try to hash things out. We need to get back on track and find the old fire again.

September 6, 2023, Wednesday evening, 6/35pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. I realize I complain more and more. It isn’t that I don’t like the job I have. I am just overwhelmed. It is getting harder to crank up the energy everyday. I need down time or I am not going to last long. The same pressure the short-term Palm Desert Director succumbed to is now devouring me. Maybe he is smart. The lesson he learned in three months has taken me over a year. I hate to say I can’t keep going but I am not sure how to stop. Eventually my tired mind is going to cause trouble. I travel long distances on busy roads. The situation is ripe for disaster. That is uncomfortable to admit but true.

September 5, 2023, Tuesday evening, 7:49pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Bakersfield, California, USA. The drive to Bakersfield was easy today, not much traffic. I wish Fridays were just as easy. Hopefully it won’t take long to return to Orange County this week. I am already grouchy and want to go home. There were a lot of issues at work. Evidently no one wanted to come back from the extended weekend. I can’t blame them, I didn’t want to work today either. Next week there is a meeting in San Diego I was thinking about attending. If I go to that I won’t come to Bakersfield. That would be nice. I think I will plan on that.

September 4, 2023, Monday night, Labor Day, 8:06pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Woke up early and worked out at the gym. I have been doing a beneficial new exercise, up/downs aka “burpees.” I do three sets of 15 plus some resistance training. The up/downs get me sweaty and exhausted, which is good. They work my core muscles that tend to atrophy from sitting in an office chair all day. After the gym I took the dog for an walk before the day got too hot. Then I came back to Dana Point, did laundry, took my daughter to a friends and went for an afternoon walk up blue lantern. At 6pm I picked my daughter up, grabbed dinner and took her home. Now it is time to wind down and mentally get ready for work. I am so freaking glad it is a short week coming up.