Category: Work

Bad mouthing me

6:41pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Monday night, February 28, 2022. Today was alright. I had a little too much wine after dinner last night so the time went slow. There was no painful hangover but my energy was lacking. There is a lot of stress on the team right now, myself included. The time has come to address the performance of a key team member. We have to make a change in that position in order to be profitable. I am not used to that aspect of the job. I have helped move people out that have bad attitudes, but not someone simply because they aren’t good at their job. She has been bad mouthing me behind my back though, so it won’t be that hard.

Friday news

5:35pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Friday evening, February 25, 2022. No update from Orange County on the Wednesday job interview. Absolutely none. I expected something, either good or bad. This morning on our stand-up call I announced the news about the long time employee being let go yesterday. I did not get verbal feedback, but the silence afterwards said a lot. Today was busy. Good busy. It feels like my team is coming together. Census is trending in the right direction and we got a new referral this afternoon. Tomorrow I will go to Southern California to spend time with my daughter. I need to shop a little first, then we can settle in for a night of pizza and movies. I am going to eat dinner, stream some shows then go to bed.

Getting fired sucks

7:12pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Thursday night, February 24, 2022. Did not hear back from the Orange County interview and don’t really expect to. In hindsight it was a pretty disappointing experience. Usually when a company flies a candidate in for an interview an offer follows. I expected more for having cleared a whole day to meet with them. I imagined a full itinerary. First, a sit down meeting to discuss more specifics details, followed by nice lunch and possibly a drive East to to the other location. Instead I was one of three tightly stacked in person interviews. They even said they had another phone interview! Weird. I guess every situation is unique, they can do what they want. On another note, the company I am with now fired our longest tenured employee today. Only a couple of people know and they are devastated. Morale will be low for the next couple days. I called him after work and we had a good talk. Nice guy. He has a lot going for him and it was time for a change. But still, getting fired sucks.

Not exciting or different

6:27pm, back of an airplane, Phoenix, Arizona, Wednesday evening, February 23, 2022. Interview went fine but didn’t last very long. I was late because of flight delays and they had a meeting right after me. Just before I arrived an issue at work blew up so I was more invested in that than the questions. We did have a chance to talk salary; there is a chance for more money but the job and company don’t seem all that exciting. Or different.

Free trip home

9:18am, airport in Phoenix, Wednesday morning, February 23, 2022. Waiting for my flight to Orange County, which has been slightly delayed. The interview is supposed to be at 10:30 but will have to be pushed back. The guy arranging my travel said they have back to back meetings so the interview won’t last long. At least I get a free trip home out of the experience.

A difficult decision to be made

5:53pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Tuesday evening, February 22, 2022. This morning was busy with back to back meetings. The afternoon was slower so I caught up on overdue assignments. Tomorrow I fly to a job interview in Orange County. The choice to stay in Arizona or go back to California looms large. Either way a difficult decision will need to be made.

Desperate by my own design

7:04pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Tuesday evening, February 15, 2022. The thought of formally submitting 60 day notice to vacate the Arizona apartment crossed my mind this morning. However, I decided to hold off; if I put myself in a position where I needed to move by May I would become desperate by my own design. Right now I am under no pressure to accept any job offer unless the pay is substantially higher. The job here in Arizona is stable(ish?), the apartment is cheaper than anything in Orange County and the company is far better than the one out there. If they can’t raise my pay there is no reason to take their job. I want to be close to my daughter but I am not desperate and I refuse to arbitrarily make myself so.

Valentine’s Day 2022

6:16pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Monday evening, February 14, 2022, Valentine’s Day. Two tuna salad sandwiches leftover from yesterday was Valentine’s dinner this evening. Not very glamorous, but still pretty delicious. I was extra hungry by the time I ate because a nurse on the night shift needed help setting up patient transports. I spent an hour walking her through it over the phone. After that things quieted down. Now I am on the couch watching a show before bed. I am so glad the day is over. There was a lot of anxiety in the office this afternoon. Not for any particular reason, everyone is just exhausted from constant change, myself included.

Sometimes life blows

6:35pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Thursday night, February 10, 2022. Two senior leaders from Southern California called this afternoon. They wanted to discuss a position similar to what I am doing now. That annoyed me. The recruiter I had been talking with said the call was for a regional role. I can’t tell if she lied or was misled herself. Either way, I felt a little deceived and a lot let down. But the call wasn’t all bad, the job has some strong selling points: the pay is pretty high for the position, there is more responsibility and most importantly, I can move back to Orange County. That gives me mixed emotions: as a father I am filled with joy. I can go home and be close to my daughter. However, career wise, taking the job would be suicide. Companies like this churn middle management every day, especially in Orange County. I keep asking myself what should I do? Go back for a job destined to fail or stay in Phoenix and miss my daughters teen years? Either decision leaves something to be desired. It’s as if no matter what I choose a great big sucking heartbreaking hole opens in the middle of my chest, leaving me with no possibility of happiness. Sometimes life blows.