2:34pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Monday afternoon, January 2, 2022. There is a donut hole in my quest for happiness. When I avoid work, stress-free mornings are followed by tediously empty afternoons. However, embracing challenge means my free time is pervaded with unmanageable anxiety. Avoiding work causes existential angst, embracing it means crippling pressure. I try to find balance but, in reality, I am not sure it is possible. No matter what, there will always be something missing. It is best to accept the situation and make peace with the vacancy, whatever form that may be.
Category: Work
Friday night in Palm Desert, California
5:21pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Friday night, December 30, 2022. Left the office and returned to the hotel. Usually I go back to Orange County Friday afternoon or late morning but, with no other staff available I stayed until closing. Next week a regional colleague will be on site. However, she does not arrive until Tuesday afternoon and leaves early Thursday so I will be in Palm Desert again for five nights next week. It is strange to be here on Friday but, it is better than hurrying home just to turn around again. I plan on sleeping in tomorrow, working out, and enjoying the free hotel breakfast before going to spend the new year with my daughter.
The hi-desert
7:05pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Thursday night, December 29,2022. Made a trip to the “hi-desert” this morning. That is the area in San Bernardino county where Joshua Tree National Park is located. I needed to get paperwork signed for two nurses and rather than have them come to the office I agreed to meet them up there. My motives were twofold; to get their signatures and to see the area. The hospice has patients up there and I was curious to see what it was like. The drive took 45 minutes and was enjoyable. The weather was much cooler and it had just rained. I don’t get out of the office very often so it was nice to have some time to relax and just be.
Mom made it safely
11:18pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Tuesday night, December 28, 2022. Mom made it safely to Wyoming without my accompanying her. The accomplishment was a team effort; my daughter’s mom drove her to the airport, my daughter and her friend got her through check in and finally, a family acquaintance picked her up in Salt Lake City for the drive back to Wyoming. I am glad she made it and, to be honest, happy I didn’t have to go. This weekend gave me a chance to relax and change perspective regarding work. Now I feel less stressed. If I had missed work yesterday I would have fallen back into the same energy as before. I needed a change. Fortunately there are only three more work days until 2023. Time to make the best of them.
A long week ahead
6:27pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Monday night, December, 26, 2022. Came to Palm Desert instead of staying in Aliso Viejo tonight. Originally the plan was to take Tuesday off, fly to Salt Lake City with mom, turn around, fly back, then drive to Palm Desert Wednesday afternoon. However, the clinical manager here in Palm Desert had a family emergency so, she is not available to open the office tomorrow. I altered my vacation plans to be here as needed. Unfortunately, that meant traveling on an extremely busy afternoon. A drive that normally takes 2 hours took closer to four. I am tired and getting ready for bed. It feels like this is going to be a long week.
Much needed
8:02 pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Friday night, December 23, 2022. Made it to Orange County early this afternoon. After dropping mom off at the hotel in Lake Forest, I picked my daughter up to do some Christmas shopping. Now we are watching YouTube and eating pizza. I am happy to be away from work for the next couple of days. Time to relax and enjoy much needed time off.
Ready for the week to be done
7:17pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Thursday night, December 22, 2022. I had to provide a counseling form to an employee today. Such matter are never easy, not for me, nor the employee involved. Unfortunately, the situation escalated to needing a second, more intense, conversation in the afternoon. Which will now be followed by a final discussion tomorrow. At this point, all my energy is drained. I am ready for the week to be done and to move on to our holiday celebration. Tomorrow afternoon mom and I return to Orange County. Hopefully the trip goes well and we can get some last minute shopping in before enjoying time as a family.
Between 2pm and 4pm
1:58pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Tuesday afternoon, December 13, 2022. I get anxious at work, especially when the afternoon rolls around. After lunch I start to daydream about taking time off and not having to be accountable. However, when I am not at the office, or at work for that matter, I still get anxious in the afternoon. I guess some moment during the day has to be the low point. For me, it is the hours between 2pm and 4pm. Once I am past that time that the day is good.
An extra day at home coming up
6:11pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Thursday night, December 8, 2022. The last day of meetings galore. Finally. This week felt incredibly long and I need a break from work. My daughter’s mom needs to go to Los Angeles on Monday so I am going to stay in Orange County until Tuesday morning. Normally I would feel bad about missing a day in the office but, the timing feels really fortuitous. I am just going to appreciate the circumstance and enjoy an extra day at home.
Worse than I anticipated
6:04pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Wednesday night, December 7, 2022. Today was even longer than yesterday. After a full day of meetings, our branch office was inundated with various problems including staff behavior issues and billing mistakes. We tried to address all the concerns in a timely manner but, there were just too many. Therefore they have to wait and be tackled first thing tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, the meetings also continue tomorrow. And they will be longer and more intense than today. I am beyond tired and grouchy. I knew this would be a tough week but, it is worse than I anticipated.
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