4:05pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Saturday afternoon, January 29, 2022. Today has been another lazy day. The cough abated slightly but fatigue is still present. Most of the afternoon and all of the morning was spent in bed preserving energy. Payroll must be completed tomorrow, followed by a busy work week.
Tag: Arizona
Arizona longer
3:56pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Friday afternoon, January 28, 2022. Exhaustion overcame me yesterday and a cough developed in my chest. Consequently, most of today was spent sitting on the couch or lying in bed. Two work calls couldn’t be canceled but that was alright, both calls ended up being positive and affirming. I feel appreciated right now. Maybe I will stay in Arizona a little longer.
Riverside County
5:20pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Thursday evening, January 27, 2022. I applied for a job in riverside county, California this morning. There was no response so there isn’t much chance of getting it but, an application was sent. Still keeping my options open and keeping myself available for good opportunities.
Lease options
4:21pm, office, Phoenix, Arizona, Wednesday afternoon, January 26, 2022. I found out this afternoon it is possible to sign any length lease for the apartment. That reduces my stress. I can’t say I want to stay in Arizona but I am not ready to move. Five months would take me to September and the beginning of high school for my daughter.
Money changes everything
3:28pm, office, Phoenix, Arizona, Tuesday afternoon, January 25, 2022. The regional leadership team got new bosses this past month. It has changed the dynamic of our relationship. No longer are they patient and supportive, but rather nervous and insecure. All they can focus on are numbers; did we get more referrals? Has the census increased? Are we achieving revenue targets? The change was inevitable but still disappointing. I shouldn’t be surprised, money changes everything.
Letting go of the WIL
1:21pm, in a class at the office, Phoenix, Arizona, Monday afternoon, January 24, 2022. The past week was monumental. I never thought I would say this but; I have let go of the WIL. The woman who I loved for over a decade, who I share the most sacred parts of me and the relationship that defined me as a person is over in my mind. Working through the remnants of our relationship consumed me. Now it is complete. I am not sad, I am not hurt, just relieved. I can move forward and so can she.
Stopping in Blythe
2:10pm Pacific, grocery store parking lot, Blythe, California , Sunday afternoon, January 23, 2022. Stopped to take a rest for a moment in Blythe before continuing on to Arizona. Friday I came out through San Diego. It wasn’t a bad route but not worth the extra time. The visit to see family was fun. My daughter showed me some new games and videos while I had two good walks with the dog. Last night I drank a couple of beers and watched the football game.
To California
10:35am, in my car, Phoenix, Arizona, Friday morning, January 21, 2022. At 1pm I am leaving for California. It will be the first time I travel on Friday rather than Saturday. This week was exhausting and it is important to have down time. The route through San Diego might even be an option.
What I did today
4:56pm, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Sunday afternoon, January 16, 2022. I woke up at 5:30am, went for a walk, then came home to drink coffee and catch up on the news/weather. I lounged around until 2pm before working out at the apartment complex gym. After that I went grocery shopping. Now I am occasionally checking the football game and watching a show on Netflix.
Internal identity/ External projection
5:43am, apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Saturday morning, January 15, 2022. My internal identity is who I am. It is what inspires me, gives me joy and propels me to interact with the world. My external projection is what people see me as. It is the job I work, the relationships I keep, the values I hold. The more my internal narrative aligns with my external projection the happier I am. When they are aligned I am confident, attractive and successful. Here is a brief history of my internal narratives: In high school I was a rock star/baseball player. In college a rock star. In seminary I was a writer. After graduation I was an actor, then a writer again. Looking back I notice times my internal narrative and external projection did not align. Those were the darkest times of my life and subsequently, the times I felt most alone. For the past year I have felt aligned. Writing this blog is who I am internally. Sharing it with you gives me purpose. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it. Thank you for taking the time to hear what I have to say.
mikemeyer949 