The beauty I have lost

4:27pm, office in Phoenix, Arizona, Wednesday afternoon, March 16, 2022. College basketball tournaments started this week. That makes me miss Utah. When we lived in Centerville I always took a week off of work to celebrate the beginning of spring. The turn of the season and the abundance of high quality basketball lifted my spirits and made me happy. It is such a beautiful time of year in Utah; wet, powerful storms blow across the mountains and leave gorgeous clouds draped against bright, blue skies. These days I don’t take time off like I used to, and I haven’t been to Utah in March since 2019. Becoming a father, losing touch with the WIL, and moving to Arizona has changed my priorities. Now I schedule my time off to coincide with my daughters spring break. I am not complaining, just remembering who I was. I am thankful for what I have gained over the years, while I still lament the beauty I have lost.

Zombie

6:11am this week went fast. It was a four day work week but still felt quick. I never got going this week. I drank beer on Monday (the holiday observed). Not too much but a fair amount. Yet Every morning I woke up feeling hungover. Not an enjoyable experience. I thought about having a couple beers and watching the basketball championship last night. It was an scenario I usually enjoy. Thursday night, good day at work, light schedule the following day. Time to have some pre-weekend beverages. But my body didn’t want it. I couldn’t stand the thought of a restless sleep and physical exhaustion. That is what gets me. Not nausea, not headaches but exhaustion. The feeling of falling asleep inside. I can’t believe how often I could drink when I was younger. Now I can drink maybe one or two days a week m. And I definitely feel it if I do.