What I always wanted

February 27, 2025, Thursday night, 6:07, pacific standard time, parking lot of apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I am starting to lose my momentum with this job. I have been a Director for over four years now and the time commitment of being in an office all day has worn out my patience. But, I am thankful for my current frame of mind and the amount of creative energy flowing through me. I guess in the end something has to be loved and something has to be loathed. When I think that about that trade off I can accept the arrangement. I wanted a base salary job with benefits and a good side hustle. The equation is coming to fruition with this hob and the affirmation book.

Back in Dublin, California

5:54pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Dublin, California, USA, Monday evening, September 19, 2022. Had a good day yesterday. Took it easy, ran a couple of errands, finished the book I was reading and watched football. This morning I flew to Oakland then drove to Dublin. The flight was delayed and baggage took forever. I did not get into town until after three. I am at the hotel, checking email and getting ready for work tomorrow.

Going to buy a book

4:37pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA, Sunday afternoon, September 4, 2022. Today was the hottest morning I can recall in Dana Point; 81 degrees before the sun came up. Luckily, the heat peaked early but, it is still warm outside. I went for a walk and worked out this morning but haven’t done much else. I am going to go out and buy a book.

Audience of one

3:29pm I am putting together the book/compilation of the post from January until the start of work. The only audience is me. I will publish it electronically but don’t care who likes or reads it.

get pulled away

I am sitting here writing and I can see how I get pulled away. It is the squares. I come up with a good idea, I right it down and then I want to flit away and not keep pressing and moving forward. I want to just bask in the emotional high that I came up with something decent then spend the rest of the day building dreams in my head about how I am going to write a million dollar book and speak to enthralled audiences.

In Defense of Growing

Yesterday I asked the question am I just futilely spinning my wheels or am I on a journey of growth.
Today I posit that I am growing. In the late 2000’s and early 2010’s I was working on creating representation for unaffiliated religious people. By the time I had put as much effort as possible into it I had put together a compilation book and self-published it on Amazon. The book itself is not very good and I think I only officially sold one copy (maybe two) but the effort was there and I had something to show for it.
The same is true of thirtydayjobcleanse.com. I put the effort fort and felt like I was really close. Again perhaps the material was not good but it was a valiant effort that I believe was on the cusp of producing revenue from my marketing efforts. I just couldn’t quite pull it all together. In fact this blog is morphing into the actual Thirty Day Job Cleanse so I am not even sure it is dead yet.
Whatever the case I believe I am growing and becoming. I need to keep walking even when it seems like it will never end.