San Diego update

5:21am, pacific standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Wednesday morning, May 11, 2022. Yesterday was the second interview for the job in San Diego; this time with the hiring manager. Our conversation was engaging, lasting longer than the time allotted for the call; which is typically a good sign. He told me I would advance to the next round and that a recruiter would be reaching out for appointment times. At this point, there are likely four interviews to go; perhaps fewer, if some are done as a group or in panel format. Depending on their urgency and desire to fill the position quickly, I should know a definitive outcome by the end of next week.

Monday after Mother’s Day

5:24am, pacific standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Monday morning, May 9, 2022. Yesterday was fun. We drove to Tucson in the morning, traveled around the city a little and looked for a place to eat. Most of the restaurants were crowded on account of it being Mother’s Day weekend so we decided to go back to the apartment and have leftovers. In the afternoon we went for a short walk, watched a movie and ate ice cream. Overall it was a pretty good day. On a different note, big changes are occurring at work. I am adopting a one day at a time approach, not only to the current situation but to what may come in the future.

Mother’s Day 2022

7:35am, pacific standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Sunday morning, May 8, 2022. Thinking about driving south today. My mom mentioned she wanted to visit Tucson. That wouldn’t be a bad way to celebrate Mother’s Day. Go for a drive, get something to eat, come home and take a nap. I ordered her a new electronic tablet as a Mother’s Day gift. It should come early next week. She will enjoy that more than anything else I could get her. It will be from the whole family because it is a little more expensive.

Saturday

7:50pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Saturday night, May 7, 2022. It has been a good weekend. We went out to eat for lunch, walked around the mall and bought a couple of things at the electronics store. Tonight we got pizza and watched some sitcoms and a documentary. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday.

Excited about the possibility

5:29am, pacific standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Thursday morning, May 5, 2022. At 11am a recruiter is calling me in regards to a job opening in San Diego, California. It would be a lateral move but, things in Phoenix have been stagnate for a while and aren’t getting better any time soon. I am excited about the possibility of taking on a new challenge. A change in scenery can be very reinvigorating.

The end of guilt

5:31am, pacific standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Wednesday morning, May 4, 2022. Feeling guilty is a constant companion in my life. Many times, I experience guilt without knowing a single reason why. In those incidences, when I am out in the emotional cold so to speak, my mind searches for the cause of my culpability, with no result being too absurd: a long misremembered childhood incident, calling a co-worker by the wrong name or a fumbled exchange in the grocery store line. All of them silly thoughts that serve no purpose other than to create a moment of internal embarrassment that is quickly forgotten. But there are other times the cause and effect of guilt is more severe; a missed opportunity to hug a lost loved one, failing to arrive on time for an important milestone as a parent or breaking the solemn vows of marriage. In those instances the internal emotion of guilt is often profound and lasts much longer. Yet, regardless of the reason the common theme in both those cases are the guilt emanates from inside. I can no longer be in a relationship where the other person deliberately tries to make me feel guilty. Life is hard enough without someone conspiring to bring me down. Nobody deserves that. I can feel guilty enough all on my own.

Like any new habit

5:41am, Pacific Standard Time, at my computer, in the apartment in Chandler, Arizona, Tuesday morning, May 3, 2022. Today marks the of beginning a new task; I will glean posts from the last year and a half and compile them for publication. This is a very exciting endeavor for me; it allows a more focused frame for my writing and provides the opportunity to develop a new creative outlet. Now all I need is the motivation to get started. Like any new habit, I will begin slow and gradually increase effort. After my morning walk and workout, but before coffee and reading, I will turn on my computer and select one post a day. That volume will indubitably increase but, for now, consistency is the key.

A moment of balance

5:40am, pacific standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Monday morning, May 2, 2022. The trip with my mom from Henderson, Nevada to Chandler was more taxing than anticipated yesterday. We got in around 1pm, rested, then got dinner and watched a movie. All things considered, it was a good day. Right now I am enjoying a moment of balance; life is not overwhelmingly great but, many aspects feel calm. I can bear my job, I am at peace with my relationships, I appreciate the place I live, I accept my past and look forward to a bright future.

Upcoming visit

5:37am, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Thursday morning, April 28, 2022. Living alone has benefits; you go to bed when you want, you control the television remote and you have final say on all home decor decisions. But there are drawbacks to living alone; without other people around it is easy to cycle on negative thoughts, feel lonely and get depressed. My mom is coming out this weekend. I am flying to Salt Lake City, Utah early Saturday morning to meet her so we can drive back to Arizona together. It will be nice to see her again (She hasn’t been out since Christmas) and it will be beneficial to have another person in the apartment for a couple weeks.