7:28am, apartment in Dana Point, California, Sunday morning, February 13, 2022. Adverse symptoms from the cold I caught two weeks ago are still present, which is frustrating. Having a stuffy nose and persistent headache makes enjoying activities difficult. I can take cold medicine but too much of it makes me tired and slows me down. This morning the dog and I did our usual walk followed by a trip to the store to buy Valentine’s Day treats for everyone. I will leave for Arizona around ten and get in by 5:30pm. This week is busy at work with payroll tomorrow morning followed by a 3 day mock survey. Thursday night I am leaving work early to come back to Dana Point. The following week I fly in Wednesday morning for an interview with the Southern California hospice company. Unless something drastic changes my mind I will take that job and move back to Orange County around the end of March, beginning of April.
Tag: Dana Point
My daughters mother
7:28am, PST, apartment in Dana Point, CA. Saturday day morning, January 22, 2022. A year ago the woman I married stopped referring to me as her husband. She began introducing me as our daughters dad. I didn’t think much of it and still reflexively called her my wife. However this past week we had a discussion about future plans. She made it clear we will never be together in that capacity ever again. I am not shocked or offended, we have been strictly platonic for well over a decade and I have no desire to revisit that status. But I did make the decision to follow suit. We are legally married but we aren’t husband and wife any more. She is now my friend and simply the woman I know as my daughters mother.
I like the relationship we have
8:01am (PST), sitting in the couch, wife and daughters apartment, Dana Point, California, Sunday morning, January 9, 2022. If I look back on this day a year from now what do I want to remember? That I had a long deep sleep? That I woke up around 4:30am, took the dog for a walk, then bought her treats before picking up coffee and tea? Do I care that yesterday I caught up on the news, put together my daughters drawing desk, watched a show with my wife and ordered take out? Are those the things that I should chronicle? After all, the audience for these posts is me, but to a certain extent, also you. I am a guy writing things to look back on yet I make my thoughts public in case you are curious to read. That creates a passively intimate relationship, which works in a way I cannot totally define. I could post similar updates on social media but that feels dissonant for some reason. Here I am true to myself and I don’t mind you reading along. I like the relationship we have and I hope you do too.
A Saturday Afternoon in Orange County
1:21pm (PST), wife and daughter’s apartment, lying in bed, Dana Point, CA, Saturday afternoon, January 8, 2022. I arrived at 11am after leaving Chandler at approximately 5am (MST). When I arrived we sat at the table and ate leftovers for lunch before doing school work. Now I am napping while my daughter plays an online game. The wife is in the living room and the dog is lying next to me.
Christmas Eve Night 2021
8:22pm, living room, Dana Point, CA, Friday night, December 24, 2021, Christmas Eve. Made it to Orange County around noon, dropped mom off at the hotel, took a quick nap and played video games with my daughter. Around 4pm we took the dog with us to Lake Forest to get mom for dinner and present opening. Then, one more trip to the hotel to drop mom off for the evening. Now we are sitting on the couch watching videos and talking.
Someplace else
1:55pm, in my office, Phoenix, Arizona, Wednesday afternoon, December 15, 2021. It is natural, when things slow down, to think about being someplace else. After all, life is more enjoyable in reflection, when current circumstances cease to demand attention. This afternoon I left my office, drove to a nearby park and sat in my car. As the bright sun warmed me, my mind wandered to last year. I recalled being in Dana Point, sitting on my couch, experiencing a similar moment. It was not a perfect time. The ongoing pandemic resurged and large group restrictions were in place. My wife and daughter had moved out and my mother, recuperating from a nasty fall, had moved in. I was settling into a new job that, unbeknown to me, was going to end in three weeks. It was not a time l felt particularly content, yet sitting in my car, remembering it, all I felt was peace. Now I am looking at decisions I will make for the coming year; Will I stay in Arizona? Or maybe move back to Orange County? Perhaps even end up somewhere I have yet to discover? Many times in life I find myself missing what was left in the past and that makes me realize something; come next year, when I have a moment to reflect, I very well could be enjoying the sunshine of a similar afternoon, in a new someplace else, missing the very place I am now.
Feels like a typical Monday
6:02am, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, Monday morning, December 13, 2021. It feels like a typical Monday. I am grouchy, everything annoys me, and time can’t move fast enough. Nothing is particularly wrong, yet everything gets on my nerves. The drive yesterday was fine. I left Dana Point around 10:30am Pacific (11:30am Arizona), stopped once in Palm Desert and made it to Chandler before sunset. Then I went to bed early and didn’t get up until 5:30am, which means I skipped my morning workout. Maybe that is why I am irritated, too much sleep and not enough exercise.
A Heartland Kind of Guy
6:37am, in my wife’s apartment, Dana Point, CA, Sunday morning, December 12, 2021. I am going to tell you a story. It is called A Heartland Kind of Guy. Are you ready? Here it goes…He was a typical American Heartland kind of guy; Rugged, stoic and contemplative. His life began on the prairies of South Dakota, briefly detoured through the Rapid City Black Hills and finally settled forever in the Southern Wyoming Desert. Childhood was uneventful except for learning to despise harsh weather and appreciate wide open space. By the age 15 he was convinced life would be better someplace else, so he headed west and didn’t stop until reaching the Pacific Ocean.
Leaving
9am, in Dana Point, Sunday morning. My mom and I are heading back to Arizona. It was a good weekend but a little frantic. Having my mom stay so far north created some logistics issues but nothing unmanageable. I have been thinking about the WIL a lot this trip. Of course, I am always thinking about the WIL. Some days I stuff my feelings and think I can move on. Other times I realize I can never move on.
Back to shopping
3:59pm Irvine California, shopping center, Saturday afternoon. We are back at the same shopping center as before. The girls had credits left over from the virtual reality arcade and we had to buy a birthday present. They are also shopping for cheap accessories like necklaces and rings. I ended up having to order a hoodie online for the birthday present. We need to pick it up at a store closer to Dana Point. We will leave soon and head back home to get it. This morning I took the dog for the usual walk then picked my mom up for another walk. I was so tired afterwards I took a little nap on the couch. Shortly after noon we went to lunch with the whole family plus my daughters friend and her mom before coming out to Irvine. It has been a fun weekend. I am glad to keep busy and spend time with my daughter.
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