12:45pm I have been doing this stupid process for almost 12 years. I thought I could develop better habits. That I would learn to swim by putting myself in situations that necessitated change. Instead of swimming I just continually sink. I am a weird fucker. Good enough to get decent paying jobs but not good enough to succeed in them. My only hope is to get in a successful situation and be a part of it as long as possible. This site was a dog before I took it over. I was ignorant thinking I could save it. Of course I was even more desperate for a job/income than I was arrogant about my abilities. Now the situation is set. I am committed to doing my best. Turning it around. Making it successful. I can’t guarantee I will succeed but I will do my best. Even if that means getting out of my head and interacting with the world