Inner person

7:55am the inner person is vibrant, confident, deep thinking. He has a million thoughts, hopes and dreams. The outer me is shallow. He goes to bed alone. He wakes up alone. He seldom interacts with anyone or shares a thought before arriving at work. He does not have deep conversations with people. No one knows his hopes, dreams, ideas, plans. Only I know the inner me. My most intimate relationship will always be with a voice inside my head.

It takes a team

Change and growth is impossible on your own. Staying focused and motivated by yourself is impossible. We are emotional creatures. We base almost all our decisions on how we feel. As a result we are a mess of contradictory objectives. When the pressure is on, the boss is looking at my numbers, or wants to see a report, hear a presentation, when I am accountable I am scared. When I am scared I am motivated.
Hopes and dreams come at us at all times. We seldom can control our emotions. Because we are constantly taking in information and processing our goals and motivations change constantly. They can become opposed in an instant.
You might say on one hand I don’t want to have to work hard. Then almost with the very next though think about how you want to accomplish more. I quit the highest paying job I ever had because I did not travel six days a week. My priority changed. Would I make the same decision now? I am not sure. I am more apt at staying in pressure but at the same time I was sacrificing for the money. I missed my home, my family.
This scenario plays out large and small all the time. One second I want to reach my sales quota and then 30 seconds later I feel tired and wish I could cut out early and go watch a movie. You may want to move one second and then the next want to stay a couple more years where you are at. To stay focused takes more than just you working on your own, it takes a team.

get pulled away

I am sitting here writing and I can see how I get pulled away. It is the squares. I come up with a good idea, I right it down and then I want to flit away and not keep pressing and moving forward. I want to just bask in the emotional high that I came up with something decent then spend the rest of the day building dreams in my head about how I am going to write a million dollar book and speak to enthralled audiences.