Burned by bad theory

11:24am I burned myself with a bad theory. I hypothesized if I stopped romanticizing leisure I would have no choice but to embrace work. If I embraced work more consistently I would be more productive and successful. Maybe that is true to an extent. But has the value of “success” outweighed the loss of relaxing rejuvenation? I feel I sacrificed what truly made me happy for minimal gain.

Glimmer of narrative

5:54am Wednesday while walking this morning I started to see a glimmer of a narrative I can embrace. It is the narrative that I was a journeyman salesperson. reliable but not outstanding. I accept that narrative about sales because I have perspective. That career is in the past. I also thought about being a chaplain this morning. I had an honest discussion with myself about why I don’t go back. Reasons include, money, lifestyle, challenge, expectations for my daughter. But I did come up with a new look forward goal. Being a prn chaplain. Just being called when needed to see people or do assessments. Not full time, not set hours.